Fear the Crab

It’s been arranged that Keoni and his girlfriend will act as ushers for our wedding reception.  I know I said initially that I wasn’t going to have him do anything at all, but I think the job of “usher” is a good enough compromise to satisfy everybody.

Basically the job requires Keoni to stand in the reception hall, after the receiving line, and ask if any of the approaching guests require assistance in finding their table.  Each guest will have a little card with their table number, so all he has to do is request a look at that card, find the appropriate table on a banquet hall floor plan (that I will provide), and indicate the correct direction.  Simple?  Should be.

The important aspect of this job is to be friendly and courteous.  If a guest does not want help, or ignores the ushers, move on to the next.  There shouldn’t be a need to run after anybody, especially since people might see others and want to talk to them before finding their table.

I’m pretty sure Keoni can perform this task.  I’m pretty sure things will go smoothly because I’m pretty sure he won’t do anything to offend anybody.  I’m pretty sure this job is involving enough.

What I’m not sure about is whether Keoni thinks it is involving enough.  I’m getting the impression, perhaps wrongly so, that he feels we’re not “involving them” enough in our wedding.

For fuck’s sake, this wedding isn’t about satisfying some deeply held longings for other people.  It’s my wedding to a beautiful woman, with a ceremony to symbolize the significance, and a reception to say thanks to all we can.  This isn’t a service to cater to someone else’s desires.  This isn’t an opportunity for someone else to fulfill their lifelong fantasies or dreams.  Why am I suddenly obligated to make someone else feel “involved” in this?

I know Keoni won’t squander this opportunity for “involvement,” so what I’m expressing is probably moot.  I’m not looking for any appreciation, either, so it doesn’t matter to me whether or not he feels thankful for this job.  In fact, even if he thanks me, I’m liable to ask “What the hell for?”

But that’s probably quite rude.

During the initial wedding plans, Maile’s brother was tapped to help out on the registration table. An easy task to involve him in the event.In the months following, there was a bit of hemming and hawing about how he wasn’t going to go, then he was going to go, and back to not going. Shiny, just let me know a decision before it’s too late.

Soon afterward, he relapsed by taking a hit of crack. He felt guilty about it afterward, and turned himself in to his PO, and spent a couple of nights in jail.

At that point, we took him off table duty. I asked two of my friends if their daughters would like to help, and they all agreed. I then had 4 people on the registration table; more than enough to handle the crowd.

Turns out the hemming and hawing by Maile’s brother and other concerns stemmed from issues unrelated to the wedding, involving mainly the immediate family and their relationship with his girlfriend. As that came to light, there were talks and discussions and I guess everything was worked out, so that’s fine.

But now I am being told that he wants his “job” back. He felt hurt that he was taken off table duty because he really wanted to be involved and help out. Maile’s mom has suggested that I put him AND his girlfriend on the registration table, and from what I can gather, Maile agrees (though I don’t know if it’s just out of agreement or any other reason). At the time this was brought to my attention, I sorta acquiesced, without really saying anything or suggesting alternatives. I had to think about it.

Last night, I spent the better part of an hour considering everything. I believe I have come to the conclusion that I will not be changing my mind. It’s not because I don’t feel that I can trust him around the gifts; I feel I can’t trust his reliability.

It’s quite possible that he can do an excellent job at the table, and that there would be no problems and everything will go smoothly. However, at this point in the wedding plans I cannot take the chance that something will happen between now and then, leaving me stranded. I do not expect any amount of vouchers from either Maile or her mom can sway me in this, too.

He feels hurt that we took him off the job. My thought is that maybe he needs to remember this “hurt” and turn it into “experience.” Take it as a lesson in how his behavior can have an impact on others, and how sometimes, certain actions cannot be undone. Perhaps if he remembers this, if he remembers how he felt when he had to suffer the consequences of what he did, it can serve him in the future when faced with the temptation to use drugs again.

The drama is in trying to convince him of that, and in a way that he doesn’t use it as an excuse to go back to drugs (the old “woe is me” attitude). And, too, I will most likely be suffering the consequences of this decision. Whether it’s from him, or Maile or her mom, I can’t tell.

My dad expressed an interest in a sushi bar for the wedding reception. Turns out, however, that to get the sushi bar one has to arrange for a different dinner menu. We considered both selections and decided to stick with the original buffet. Even my dad said that he doesn’t want to sacrifice the whole meal just for sushi; it’d have been neat, but not important.

Maile and I will probably get the van when it comes in. Her old car will be used by Keoni for work-related purposes, until he’s established enough to keep paying for it. I think the functionality of the van will serve its purpose now without sacrificing future use, so it ends up being a good investment. It’s too bad the value drops dramatically once Maile drives it off the lot.

It feels like I am supposed to do something this week. I installed free Rainlendar software, which is basically an electronic planner that sits on your computer desktop. It’s kinda neat as far as its functionality, but there are some things that could be improved. For example, the alarm feature which notifies you of an upcoming event or task can be easily dismissed. I’d like it more if it needed a few more involved steps to dismiss, which would increase the chances of you actually doing what it is the program is reminding you to do!

I liken it to the alarm clock you put across the bedroom, forcing you to actually get up to turn it off.

Anyway, despite Rainlendar, I still feel like I’m forgetting to do something.

I have veggie stixs. They’re supposed to be good for me. Maybe I will eat the whole bag for lunch.

Well, it certainly has been a while. You can thank Animal Crossing and The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker for my prolonged absence. There’s just so much to do in Zelda that it’s almost a sure-fire way to lose your social life. Thankfully Maile is very good at bringing me back to reality.

Let’s see, what’s happened so far? I think I’ve gotten into the groove of things at my new job(s). Deliveries for The Lab are becoming a habit, and many of the offices are permanently scarred into my memory. Sometimes I can get done with my rounds in less than three hours, which doesn’t mean good things for my paycheck since I’m on hourly. The Office has been holding steady; at least, I’m able to do the simple things. I haven’t gotten any major projects to work on yet, mostly because there really isn’t anything to do right now. There are still aspects of that job that I have yet to touch, but it seems I have to rely on my fellow student workers to show me the ropes, since the bosses are really busy with fixing another highly-visible project. And being that it’s finals week, I rarely see my coworkers. So I busy myself with checking Postmaster mail and setting up mailing lists while browsing the web pages for weird stuff.

On the homefront, life has been normal for me. I finished off my ICS 241 math class, and feel fairly confident I’ll pass with at least a C. That was my main goal, and if I score better, it’ll be all the more sweeter. Those E-Commerce classes I took were interesting, and I think I learned a few things, but the way they were carried out left something to be desired. The prof stressed communication, but it seemed to be lacking on his part. I would email him with a question, and wouldn’t get a reply for several days, if ever! Thankfully they were 100-level courses and pretty easy, otherwise I’d have more white hairs than I do now.

Life, however, has been anything BUT normal for Maile. Her brother’s back on crack again, and I actually witnessed the demon itself one day. He barged into the room and demanded the money Maile has been holding for him (because he’s so irresponsible with finances). When she refused, he got angry and tried to take her purse. Instead he missed and grabbed her backpack. Despite not having any money in the backpack, he ransacked through it, all the while spewing curses out of his retarded mouth. Maile finally gave him his money and he left. I found out later that everyone’s suspected he’s been on the rock from way before. Apparently he was given money to buy a nice present for his son’s 1st birthday and attend a small party, but instead he spent the money on crack and didn’t go. He’s back with this mental-case girl named Josephine who’s also on the rock (and with whom he had his son). Maile’s brother hasn’t been back for about a week, but he’ll start coming around once he wastes his cash.

The sad thing is that he blames Maile and the mom for his condition. Talk about a lame cop-out. His claim is that he was given too much responsibilities to handle, that Maile and the mom expected more from him than he could produce. Whatever. All they asked was that he help contribute to the house, either by getting a job or something. But no, the mere thought of hard work seems to be like a bad case of SARS for this whelp. Oh, and he also believes he has a mental condition, which is why he acts this way. I would tend to agree, but not for the reasons he gives. He feels it is justification for his behavior. I feel it’s simply stupidity. The guy is just spoiled, thinking the world has to give him what he wants without him working for it. I told him once that I was able to buy a new truck and these video games only because I worked and budgeted my money. At the time he seemed to take it to heart, but I guess he can only think short-term and can’t stand waiting for hard work to bear fruit.

So now the house has become like a fortress, with secured doors and a significant change in lifestyle. It’s like everyone’s on alert, since no one knows when he’ll drop by with some fake-ass sob story to try and wheedle pity and money out of the family. Pretty soon we’ll have to start using passwords and retina scans.

This morning Maile’s mom gave the grandmother some instructions, because Keoni called and wanted money. The grandmother said no, so Keoni wanted saimin packages, so the grandmother said yes and wanted to make some kind of arrangement to give it to him, because he can’t come to the house. The mom got really upset, and told the grandmother and aunt that Keoni was not to come to the house and not to get any help. Well, he called, and the aunt answered, and told him what was going to happen.

Then he shows up at the house. The aunt answers the door and tells Keoni again that he cannot be there. What does the fucker do? He just smiles at the aunt, runs into the house, into his room, and takes the mail that was there. Now we’re worried that whatever mail was there (under his name), is more credit card fraud. At least Maile has that fraud-alert on her accounts, to notify her of any activity using her name, so it’s safe from that end. Still, it’s a big hassle when it does happen, and we’d like it better if it just didn’t happen at all.

I think I have a cold. My throat is feeling a bit itchy.

I didn’t post yesterday because I fell asleep early. I guess I was just that tired. I woke up 11 hours later and had a nasty cotton-mouth, which is odd because I never drank anything. I think it’s all the vog in the air with the Kona winds blowing in.

Yesterday was a bit eventful, too. On my way in to work I nearly got into a traffic accident as a truck got a flat tire. Unfortunately, the driver decided to slow to a stop as he tried to move to the shoulder, and nearly caused a chain reaction as we all tried desperately to avoid him. Given the heavy rain earlier in the evening, the roads were still slick. It’s a miracle nobody hit anything.

I bought the Kikaida DVD as promised. Not much else to say about that.

Last night Maile and her mom gave Keoni an choice. He could either stay at the house under strict rules (no stealing, lying, or drugs), or he could go out on the street and face whatever consequences there. He chose the street. He explained this choice by saying that since he was eventually going to jail, he might as well do what he likes before then. Unfortunately, his likes involve stealing Maile’s jewelry and trying to swindle the other family members out of money. And he likes crack.

Discovered today that he came back to the house. His excuse was that he wanted to do laundry, and he wanted money. He also gave some sob story about how it’s so hard on the street, but Maile just reminded him that it was his choice. Tonight he’s going to return and the mom is going to have a “chat” with him.

I’ve decided that I will drop my math class, or at the very least, talk to my professor about it. I’m so borderline it’s scary. I’m really worried that the exams will sink me below the level of passing, so I figure I will drop the class now and get a W (for withdrawal), but still attend the rest of the classes so I can get the material. I’m going to ask if I can also continue to turn in the assignments and take the exams, just to get an idea of whether or not I understand this shit. It’s too bad I can’t get my money back, but it’s better than getting a D or F in the class.

Ate dinner at Assagio’s in Mililani. I had a chicken and shrimp special with a spinach garlic wine sauce over a bed of linguine. Maile had the chicken linguine anchovy olio, or something along those lines. Not bad.

The interview went well. They asked questions, I answered them clearly and precisely. I think I made a good impression.

The test was dubious, at best. The multiple choice questions were all based on what is public knowledge of the department’s operation. For example, the tax year for real property is July 1st to June 30th. Real appraisals are conducted as of October 1st. You can file an appeal by January 15th. Stuff like that. I totally bombed that part.

There was a bit of math in the test, but only two questions. The first dealt with statistics. I had to find the median, mode, and mean of nine numbers. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what a mode was, so I got that part wrong. The second question was simply finding the area of the different parts of a house.

So the test has me worried about my chances of getting this job. I don’t know how much weight the test holds, so there’s a possibility that no matter what kind of impression I made, my score on the test would be the ultimate factor to decide whether or not I’m hired. If there’s one silver lining to this cloud, it’s that I told the interview panel that I am easily trainable and a quick learner, and I cited my experience at duty free when I first started (I hardly knew Japanese, and I didn’t know anything about duty free regulations). It is my hope that they will take that into consideration should they look at my test score.

In other news, Maile’s mom finally gave Keoni a choice. He can go to a rehab center and clean up, or he can live on the street. The mom will basically drive down to the psychologist’s office with Keoni and ask what options the idiot has. He’s been acting really weird, and it’s very likely he’s back on drugs. We suspect he even stole a Macy’s gift card we bought for a friend. So this development has put Maile more at ease, because now it seems like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Basically he’s going to be out of the house (which is all she really wants), and he should be getting the help he needs. The rest of the family is sick and tired of helping him out; even the grandmother is beginning to get irritated.

A part of me wonders if Keoni will actually go through with rehab. Ideally he would, and clean himself up and live a peaceful life. Unfortunately, the pessimist (or realist) in me highly doubts he’d go through with it, because he has a problem with rules and with authority. Namely, he can’t handle it. However, regardless of whether or not he goes through with rehab, Keoni will not be at Maile’s house giving her stress, and when it all boils down, that’s the bottom line.

Went over to Maile’s house to hang out and spend some time with her. We went shopping for an office chair for her room, but the only one we liked was sold out. Instead we had to settle for some ink cartridges for her printer, and overall it was a disappointing venture. The reason we need a new chair is because the old one is, well, old, and we wanted a chair that was lower than the desk itself, so we could sit more comfortably. Right now the armrests on the old chair get in the way of the keyboard panel, which slides out but hits the top of the armrests.

We watched a bit of Moulin Rouge because it was playing on HBO, but we missed the beginning. It was pretty good, though after watching it I got a headache because I was staring at the television for so long. We ate dinner at Ricado’s; both of us having the chicken piccata and I had a glass of red wine. I forget the name of the brand, but it began with Bolla.

While we were out, it seems Keoni was using Maile’s computer, even though he’s been told countless times to not do that. We can tell he’s been using it because he doesn’t turn off the computer, and before we left I had shut down everything. He only turns off the monitor, thinking that nobody would notice. If there’s one bright spot in that bit of news, it’s that he doesn’t just push the power button to shut off the computer. Doing that is a big no-no amongst users, because it doesn’t allow the OS to properly close. I mean, you can do it, but it’s preferred you not.

I’m really afraid that he’ll not only break Maile’s computer, but he’ll download or open up some virus that will cause havoc later on down the road. Given his stupid lack of sense, he wouldn’t think twice about opening unknown applications or visiting porno sites and getting the hard drive infected. We could use a password to start the computer, but that really complicates things and doesn’t solve the primary issue of him just not using it when he’s not supposed to. I think the only viable solution here would be to duct tape him to his bed and close the door.

All in all, besides that one dark and dreary moment, the day was a good day.

I almost forgot to post today. I spent most of my time trying to study for my math exam, but since I was at work it was tough to concentrate. I did manage to make some progress towards further, if not better, understanding of the material, though I’m still a long way from claiming omnipotent knowledge.

One of the watch bay doors fell and cracked the mirrored glass. It broke so hard that the lock came off. It is my suspicion that the sales clerk just wasn’t paying attention to the door and let it drop down to hit against the drawers. Either that or she misjudged the weight of it (which isn’t very heavy). This isn’t the first time it’s happened.

I went over to Maile’s house after work for some dinner. Instead of studying, we watched some Rurouni Kenshin and a bit of the special features on the Monsters Inc DVD.

When I pulled into her driveway, I noticed that her mom’s car was gone. Maile’s mom had gone to Vegas eariler in the week, so I thought that she had come home already and was either out or hadn’t returned from work. However, I found out that Keoni had taken the car. It seems that the mom gave Keoni permission to use the car only during specific conditions. First, he could use it if he had an appointment such as for the doctor, or a job interview (yeah right). Second, the grandmother had to accompany him. I thought these were more than reasonable terms for some bastard who’s about as trustworthy as the DFS vice president. Yet it seems the grandmother did not accompany Keoni, and he did not have any such appointments scheduled. Though he denies it, we highly suspect he went over to Josephine’s house (the “first woman”) because he came home with a gigantic hickey on the side of his neck. Maile was, understandably, annoyed and angry, but I think that will pale in comparison to how the mom will feel when she finds out.

Came home and watched some of the UH football game on delayed broadcast. During that time I worked on my coding assignment and made rather significant progress. There are stilll a few bugs, and in my current state of mind I can’t seem to comprehend what it is I’m doing wrong. Perhaps tomorrow will hold greater success in my endeavors, but if that fails, I can always email the professor or TAs.

Went with Maile to LCC as she took a Psychology test. I spent the idle time studying for my 211 quiz that’s coming up Thursday. There was the very rancid smell of manure towards the back of the campus, and I thought some toilet had overflowed because I only smelled it when I went past the bathrooms to get something to drink. Maile told me afterward that was the Agriculture department. I guess they have a full garden/crop field or something. There’s a lot of brush behind the campus, so it’s plausible that it’s back there.

Keoni irritates me to no end. Perhaps I’m making too big a deal of this, but there are just things people do that piss me off. One such thing is saying, “I going take some cigarettes, okay?” To me, that is the rudest thing you could say to someone. The polite thing to say is, “May I have some cigarettes?” or something to that extent, where the request is actually a request. A question, if you will. Not some statement of what you’re going to do. That’s just assuming the other person will be okay with it.

Not to mention, he took over half of her pack.