Fear the Crab

It’s been arranged that Keoni and his girlfriend will act as ushers for our wedding reception.  I know I said initially that I wasn’t going to have him do anything at all, but I think the job of “usher” is a good enough compromise to satisfy everybody.

Basically the job requires Keoni to stand in the reception hall, after the receiving line, and ask if any of the approaching guests require assistance in finding their table.  Each guest will have a little card with their table number, so all he has to do is request a look at that card, find the appropriate table on a banquet hall floor plan (that I will provide), and indicate the correct direction.  Simple?  Should be.

The important aspect of this job is to be friendly and courteous.  If a guest does not want help, or ignores the ushers, move on to the next.  There shouldn’t be a need to run after anybody, especially since people might see others and want to talk to them before finding their table.

I’m pretty sure Keoni can perform this task.  I’m pretty sure things will go smoothly because I’m pretty sure he won’t do anything to offend anybody.  I’m pretty sure this job is involving enough.

What I’m not sure about is whether Keoni thinks it is involving enough.  I’m getting the impression, perhaps wrongly so, that he feels we’re not “involving them” enough in our wedding.

For fuck’s sake, this wedding isn’t about satisfying some deeply held longings for other people.  It’s my wedding to a beautiful woman, with a ceremony to symbolize the significance, and a reception to say thanks to all we can.  This isn’t a service to cater to someone else’s desires.  This isn’t an opportunity for someone else to fulfill their lifelong fantasies or dreams.  Why am I suddenly obligated to make someone else feel “involved” in this?

I know Keoni won’t squander this opportunity for “involvement,” so what I’m expressing is probably moot.  I’m not looking for any appreciation, either, so it doesn’t matter to me whether or not he feels thankful for this job.  In fact, even if he thanks me, I’m liable to ask “What the hell for?”

But that’s probably quite rude.