Fear the Crab

So I’m thinking of cutting out some parts of my wedding guest list. With the buffet at $47 a head, and with the list close to 175 people, the prices were starting to look a little steep.

Trouble is, I didn’t have many people on my list in the first place. I cut out my personal friends on the continent, plus some old friends from the old workplace that I haven’t spoken to in years, and I only got the list down to 160. It’s hard because these are the people who’ve contributed to what I am today, and they are the first of my friends whom I would have liked to be in attendance. Some of them know Maile, too.

EDIT: Actually, the list is back up to 164. I forgot to add myself and Maile (because we have to eat, too!), as well as two more people from The Lab.

Still, less people on the list means less of a body count in the buffet line, which would substantially decrease the overall cost of food and beverage. Plus, we don’t need to make as many invitations, which can mean a significant reduction of about $100.

In other areas, I might have to push for recorded entertainment. The hotel will let me hook up my iPod to their sound system for $40, which is 10x less than the cheapest live DJ. I can fill up a playlist with the songs I want and let it run on shuffle, and when it comes time to actually play a specific song, I could delegate some volunteer to be in charge of that (since the iPod still plays as you’re searching for the song).

I also think I will have to reduce the time the bar remains open. I looked at the cost for 4 hours of operation (1730-2130), and I could save over $1k if I cut it down to 3 (so it ends at 2030 instead). It’s a Sunday buffet, so I don’t think many people will want to drink as late anyway. Of course, I could go even cheaper and require everyone to buy their own alcohol…

What worries me, though, is the fact that we still haven’t accounted for other costs, like flowers, hair & makeup for the bride, and even the wedding bands. The three-thousand dollars I “saved” may just go back in, though I admit it would still be slightly better.

I think we might seriously have to take out a loan. The thing is, I don’t want to get a loan and then start “upgrading” the wedding just because we suddenly have an influx of funds. I don’t want to get into the mindset that now I can afford to bring in my elementary school classmates, or the nice principal from Tuba City High. I don’t want to think that I could get a comedy team to perform at the reception, or a 10-piece big band with award-winning crooner.

I would rather make the wedding as minimal as possible whilst retaining some manner of elegance (because it’s for her), even if it means those in attendance don’t get what they’re used to getting (like a live band), or the invitations don’t have a map or directions.

There are other costs looming on the horizon; I can see them, and they think I’m pretty enough to eat.

I was at work, but my station was on top of a large server, where I had to lie down and tap the metal roof to input any commands. The screen was a small LED panel barely able to fit two lines of 10 characters each, and I had to read it UPSIDE DOWN! Aside from my non-ergonomic work conditions, everything seemed normal as we tried to figure out what to eat for lunch.

I just finished writing a check for $1000.00. It is for a non-refundable deposit at the Hyatt Regency Waikiki, where I will be having a dinner reception. I don’t know if it’s the sudden loss of one thousand dollars or the fact that it’s non-refundable, but I am left with a big empty feeling in my heart. Strange, no? Why am I paying $1k? It’s for a wedding reception. I am getting married next April.

Surprise!

It will be held on Sunday, 6 April 2008. Maile and I initially wanted August 8 because it symbolized triple prosperity (quadruple if you consider we have been together for 8 years). However, it seems everyone else on the island is shooting for that date, because by the time we got around to checking availability (maybe a month ago), everywhere was booked. Those places that weren’t booked had a strict policy of not accepting reservations longer than a year in advance, meaning we’d have to wait until August of this year to get August of next. Or, they had the location open for a ceremony, but no place to hold a reception. Or, they had plenty of room for a reception, but only for lunch, and since 8/8/08 is a Friday not too many of our friends and family can make it to lunch.

We’ll have to be happy with double prosperity for the date we decided upon. 2008 ends in an 8 and is a multiple of 8 (by 251, in case you didn’t know. I didn’t; I had to look it up), and see reference to how long we’ve been together for bonus. We started dating 5 April 2000, so it’s only one day removed from the anniversary. Some significance there, I think. A Sunday means weekend, which means more people would attend. It also means some people will go to work the next day, so alcohol prices will decrease for some nice savings! Plus, the Hyatt gives a 5% discount on food and beverage, plus some extra comps for Sunday/weekday weddings.

Contrary to popular belief, the bride is not the one who is coordinating things. That duty has been volunteered upon my cousin Melanie, who takes a particularly masochistic delight in wedding plans. I would not venture to guess where she gets this excited energy for something so.. I don’t know, particular? I think I would be the first mate in manning the ship of wedding designs, since I have been designated to handle most of the decisions. Mel does all the research and I choose what to go with. Mel finds available locations and I decide where. I also make phone calls inquiring about availability of officiants, musicians, and stationary. Mel is checking on flowers.

Maile plays Bratz on the Gamecube and takes Lucky to the dog park.

Now, this picture is oversimplified; Maile has to make a few decisions, after all. And I’m not totally in control of everything, nor would I want to be. However, my lust for knowledge compels me to try and know the itty-bitty details of the wedding ceremony and subsequent reception, and it is here that I am introduced into the diabolical world of the wedding business.

Bunch of blood-sucking leeches, the lot!

Time was, a wedding was a simple affair. Show up at a place wearing nice clothes, say your lines, eat some food, congratulations you are wed. Now, you have to book your venue, often times the same location, but other times two separate bookings for the ceremony and reception. You have to book the photographer, you have to book the officiant, you have to book the entertainment, and oh no the photographer isn’t available that day is there another date we can book the ceremony no the date is blocked by another function and what do you mean there’s a convention that weekend?

Madness, I tell you. In addition to the big things like the ceremony, there are invitations to create, favors for your guests, the cake, flowers, hair/makeup, and the clothes. And each of these things (above included) there are individual vendors you have to go through. Granted, some are more easily worked in than others (I haven’t heard of a printing company that would refuse to make last-minute invitations), but each of these aspects incurs individual costs. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a vendor who would offer to cut your wedding cake and serve it to the guests. Speaking of which, some places charge you to use a cake knife!

After all is said and done, I’m looking at over $20k. I’m just going to sit a while and stare at that number.

On the subject of fishies, it seems that once the driftwood was removed, things have stabilized. The cories have gotten fat and piggish, constantly searching for food and exploring every little area. There have been no deaths, and one of the sterbae actually regrew his barbs (the other is still barbless, but alive and kicking). Argenta keeps laying eggs and being piggish herself, swimming up to the glass as soon as someone walks into the room with that “FEED ME!” swim.

Argenta has been harassing the cories, though. I’ve usually seen it happen when she has eggs, but lately I’ve noticed it during an eggless moment. The cories don’t seem to mind too much; that is to say, they merrily go about their business as if it never happened.

I do have plans for a large 150-gallon fish tank set up for docile schooling fish. Maybe 50+ of small tetras, like neons. Maybe 50+ pygmy cories. Maybe a few otos for algae control. Probably not guppies, as I’m not a big fan. I’m not interested in having a big tank for a big fish; I want a big tank filled with little fishes. I don’t want to worry about one type of fish eating another type, which is the big reason why I can’t keep Argenta with anything else in the tank (save the cories who are too big for her to eat).