Fear the Crab

I dreamt I was attending a wedding at a hotel. Seemed to have a very local, almost casual, feel to it. The only thing significant in my dream was that the bride found out some of the food couldn’t be delivered because of a “worm infestation.” I didn’t know if that meant the food was infected, or the banquet room was, but I do remember thinking that it was standard operating procedure.

Met with the chair-cover vendor yesterday. $8 a chair, for 200 chairs, equates to $1600. I will admit, chair covers greatly change the appearance and atmosphere of a wedding reception, especially when it matches the table linens and settings. I know some people would say that regular hotel-provided chairs would be fine, and I’d be inclined to agree. I would also be inclined to think that a regular t-shirt and jeans are appropriate wedding attire.

And that analogy is basically the difference between having and not having chair covers. Both “work,” but one just happens to give a more formal appearance. Besides, Maile wants them, so we’re going to have them.

The vendor also said they can dress the head table and cake table, but this decision will wait until we’ve heard from the florist. I may not even want table dressing, or only the head table. I don’t know. Maile and I have set a cap of $5000 for flowers (which is still expensive, but apparently the low expensive), and depending on what the florist quotes us, we’ll have to see what we can take away or substitute in order to retain the original vision.

Maybe we’ll just have low centerpieces on every table, instead of a mix of tall and short. Maybe we’ll have a few less flowers in the bouquet. Maybe the men won’t have boutonnieres, only handkerchiefs.

When I think about it, all this money is really paying for the convenience. No doubt I could find cheaper, if not free, substitutes by simply doing all the work myself. I could find, grow, or pick flowers and arrange them. I could buy linen in bulk from fabric stores and dress my own tables. I could fold my own cranes and arrange them into a nice pattern… wait, I’m still folding my own cranes. Anyway.

The point is, a lot of this money is for the fact that I don’t have to do it all myself. I won’t have to set up or volunteer someone to set up things, and I won’t have to worry about breaking things down and taking them home. I find myself asking each vendor what their set-up and breakdown policies are. Do they bring their own equipment and tools? What about transportation and storage? Every vendor has been self-sufficient. And why not, considering the thousands of dollars you’re giving them?

After speaking with the florist, it seems we might be in the market to spend approximately five to eight.. thousand dollars. Wai-wha-huh? The florist has great vision, I’ll grant her that. She can really fit the flowers with the overall theme of the wedding. But such talent comes at a price, I suppose. When she gives me the final estimate, I’ll have to see what we can compromise, take away, or otherwise finangle to get the cost down to $5K.

Today I meet with a vendor who specializes in chair covers. I’m not sure how high of a priority we’ll place on this, though.

We still need to find someone to be an emcee, and the cranes need researching and possible folding.

I attended a “wedding workshop” yesterday at The Wedding Cafe. The harpist we hired was going to be there, so I figured the least I could do was introduce myself and hope that she could put a face to the name on the cheque. Maile joined my adventurous endeavor to listen to what a makeup artist had to say. We ate food at 10% off and drank smoothies, also at 10% off.

Whilst sipping and nibbling we met a nice man who runs Dynamic Sounds, an emcee and wedding consulting company. Basically you hire him to either help coordinate your wedding’s theme, emcee your reception, or both. During our talkies I discovered that this guy has some pretty good ideas. I asked for his business card and I think we’ll be contacting him soon. It’s still undecided if we will use him for an emcee, but seeing as how we haven’t actually picked anybody else to do it, it’s nice to know we can try and reserve him.

Of course, with all things vendor-ish, it requires money. I think I overheard him saying that consultations run about $300.00! I don’t know if we want to spend that much. Otherwise it means people like James, Kimberly, and Richard may suddenly lose their invitations! Bwahahahaha!

Next week there is another wedding workshop, and the officiant I’ve emailed is supposed to be there. I will probably attend to introduce myself. My attendance will be determined by what time I get done at the dentist, though.

Today I meet with the florist, and then on Monday I meet with some vendor who does chair covers. Sometimes I think we should have eloped.

My dad expressed an interest in a sushi bar for the wedding reception. Turns out, however, that to get the sushi bar one has to arrange for a different dinner menu. We considered both selections and decided to stick with the original buffet. Even my dad said that he doesn’t want to sacrifice the whole meal just for sushi; it’d have been neat, but not important.

Maile and I will probably get the van when it comes in. Her old car will be used by Keoni for work-related purposes, until he’s established enough to keep paying for it. I think the functionality of the van will serve its purpose now without sacrificing future use, so it ends up being a good investment. It’s too bad the value drops dramatically once Maile drives it off the lot.

It feels like I am supposed to do something this week. I installed free Rainlendar software, which is basically an electronic planner that sits on your computer desktop. It’s kinda neat as far as its functionality, but there are some things that could be improved. For example, the alarm feature which notifies you of an upcoming event or task can be easily dismissed. I’d like it more if it needed a few more involved steps to dismiss, which would increase the chances of you actually doing what it is the program is reminding you to do!

I liken it to the alarm clock you put across the bedroom, forcing you to actually get up to turn it off.

Anyway, despite Rainlendar, I still feel like I’m forgetting to do something.

I have veggie stixs. They’re supposed to be good for me. Maybe I will eat the whole bag for lunch.

Maile and I were looking at a new car. A minivan, to be specific. 2007 Toyota Sienna LE, if you want more details.

We can afford it because we’ve saved enough to pay for it in cash, options and accessories inclusive. Maile needs a new car as her current automobile is on the razor’s edge; it works.. for now. Plus, the minivan provides functionality as far as cargo room, passenger capability (we’re looking at the 7-passenger variant), and some comfort. Maile likes the space and finds it easy to get in and out of the vehicle.

The model we’re looking at has dual power sliding doors, each with its own power window. Something I had never heard of in a van, though now that it’s there I wonder why it was never offered as standard. The driver’s console is useful and allows for easy access without compromising attention to the road. Passengers don’t have much in terms of distractions (no rear dvd player or nothing), but living in Hawaii does not imply long road trips.

The question thus remains, should we get the van now or wait? The specific van Maile wants won’t arrive until sometime later this month, so we just put a deposit to secure its purchase, and we have the option of declining with full refund. Getting it now wouldn’t hurt us financially, and Maile will be comfortable in the fact that as a new car, it won’t be prone to breakdowns immediately. Or, I should say, the chances are decreased dramatically.

Even with our upcoming wedding, the cost of the van would not impact the cost of the ceremony and reception, because we’ve already allocated funds for those. Whatever shortfall there is will be covered by our work income, which Maile is already receiving.

The one big thing that would factor against getting the van now would be Maile’s statement that her old car would be given to her brother, under the condition that he is able to afford it. That is, he has enough income to pay for its insurance, registration, safety checks, and whatever maintenance is required. That was the arrangement made by the family, and as of now I do not know whether Keoni is able to do it right away. It may take him some time, beyond the date the minivan is expected to arrive.

If we get the van anyway, what will we do with Maile’s old car? If Keoni can’t afford it, will the old car just sit in the carport?

I browsed through Kim and Philip’s registry and found myself staring at one item in particular. Chili bowls, extra large. “A Williams-Sonoma exclusive.”

These days it seems everything keeps getting more and more specific as far as its intended use. Time was, you only had one fork with which to skewer food (we don’t need to go further back and argue about the proper table etiquette of eating mutton with your hands). Now you have salad forks of differing size, or in the case of very lazy restaurants, two identical forks, with manners dictating that it is the outside fork to be used for salads.

So it was with plates and bowls. I would have one bowl for my rice, my gruel, and my water. If I were really practical, I’d also use it for my haircut. Now it seems we have bowls for chili, with maybe an alternate use for casserole or some kind of hot soup. I do not doubt the effectiveness of such bowl-ware in keeping hot foodstuffs hot. I merely wonder at the marketing genius it took to try and milk the common consumer of more money.

“Ah, I see you are interested in our exclusive and finely-crafted chili bowls, of the extra large variety. Those go great with stews, too. Only $25.95!”

“Oh, these are chili bowls? I just wanted something to eat my cereal in.”

“Then you want our exquisite line of breakfast bowls, imported from France. If you buy them today, you can cash in on a sweet deal of 6 for $39.95. That’s 4 dollars off from the regular price of $35.95!”

Seems like everything these days is separated and categorized further and further into tiny pigeonholes, and it all seems to warrant different price tags. Soon you’ll have customized and specific tines on your fork.

“Eat your salad. No, wrong tine. That’s for seafood, dear. Honey, talk to your kid. I spent $14.99 on salad tines, the least you could do is use them properly.”

I spent money over the weekend, even though I have wedding plans and need to fix things around the house. Buying even something as small (and significant) like wedding bands is pricey! Deposits must be made, I need enough cash to cover, and I still haven’t seen any quotes for flowers.

Sometimes I think saving money is a lot harder than trying to quit smoking. In a moment of weakness I satisfied my craving for video games with Call of Duty and Medal of Honor for the GameCube. Older games, sure, and cheaper because they were used, but that’s still $30 that I could have used to buy one rose for my wedding.

No one makes a patch or gum to soothe shopping addictions, do they?

As I sit here, munching on cereal bars for lunch, I am reminded of the time I tried to make Rice Krispie treats. I emptied the entire box of cereal into a big pot, because the ingredients indicated that it took the entire box to make the treats. Then, according to the instructions, I add the butter, so I added a stick of butter, because the ingredients indicated that it took an entire stick of butter to make the treats.

Unfortunately, the instructions did not make it readily clear that I was supposed to melt the butter before adding it, so there I am trying to mix cereal and cold butter whilst the stove is still on. About the time I realized the inevitable outcome of this concoction, I had a central mass of stuck cereal around a gooey core of butter, surrounded by burnt krispies.

At least I had a bag of marshmallows to snack on.

My “elite cooking skills” can be traced to Mr Rogers’ Neighborhood. In particular is the episode where Mr Rogers made peanut butter.

From what I recall, Mr Rogers took a plastic Ziploc bag and filled it with unsalted peanuts. Then he added a stick of butter. The next step, and this was very important, was to close the bag (otherwise everything would fall out).

The final step would be to take a rolling pin and run it across the bag until the peanuts and butter were mashed together to form.. peanut butter!

It took about 10 years for me to figure out that this simple recipe was incorrect, though now I have no idea how they actually do make peanut butter.

I broke down and bought useless crap again. It is amazing how one month of shopping abstinence can disappear in a flash of credit card craziness. In one day I spent approximately $130.00 on music, books, and movies. Let’s check out the list:

• “Cossette no Shouzou” soundtrack
• “Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring” complete soundtrack
• “Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” complete soundtrack
• “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” book
• “Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There” book
• “Watership Down” book
• “Saving Private Ryan” movie

I also happen to come into ownership of “Time Bandits” and “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” because it was my birthday and those DVDs were gifts.

Today my wrists and arms are sore and achy. It’s only been 4 hours of work and it feels like I just want to drop my hands to my sides and stare.

Wedding reception programs are a curious thing. I have attended numerous receptions here and they have all followed the same format. It starts with the receiving line where the bridal party greets each guest, then cocktails and pupus (appetizers for some of your, hors d’oeuvres for the rest). The bridal party is introduced and is seated, some speeches are made. Everybody eats food! More speeches. Wedding cake cutting. Maybe a sappy slideshow. Speech given by bride and groom. Banzai toast given by drunk uncles. First dance, then money train.

Every wedding reception I’ve gone to has followed this format. Now that I am planning my own, I discover that this isn’t necessarily the standard. For starters, it seems the first dance is often held first, after the speeches. Someone told me the money train was a Filipino wedding tradition (I’m still going to have it!).

Granted, some of this comes from sources whose knowledge is based on their own experiences, so perhaps the sequences are just what they are used to. Nothing indicates that I HAVE to follow a particular pattern.

However, I do need to remember and make sure that all the primary players know this schedule. It wouldn’t do to have the band play the song for the first dance before dinner.