Fear the Crab

I browsed through Kim and Philip’s registry and found myself staring at one item in particular. Chili bowls, extra large. “A Williams-Sonoma exclusive.”

These days it seems everything keeps getting more and more specific as far as its intended use. Time was, you only had one fork with which to skewer food (we don’t need to go further back and argue about the proper table etiquette of eating mutton with your hands). Now you have salad forks of differing size, or in the case of very lazy restaurants, two identical forks, with manners dictating that it is the outside fork to be used for salads.

So it was with plates and bowls. I would have one bowl for my rice, my gruel, and my water. If I were really practical, I’d also use it for my haircut. Now it seems we have bowls for chili, with maybe an alternate use for casserole or some kind of hot soup. I do not doubt the effectiveness of such bowl-ware in keeping hot foodstuffs hot. I merely wonder at the marketing genius it took to try and milk the common consumer of more money.

“Ah, I see you are interested in our exclusive and finely-crafted chili bowls, of the extra large variety. Those go great with stews, too. Only $25.95!”

“Oh, these are chili bowls? I just wanted something to eat my cereal in.”

“Then you want our exquisite line of breakfast bowls, imported from France. If you buy them today, you can cash in on a sweet deal of 6 for $39.95. That’s 4 dollars off from the regular price of $35.95!”

Seems like everything these days is separated and categorized further and further into tiny pigeonholes, and it all seems to warrant different price tags. Soon you’ll have customized and specific tines on your fork.

“Eat your salad. No, wrong tine. That’s for seafood, dear. Honey, talk to your kid. I spent $14.99 on salad tines, the least you could do is use them properly.”