Fear the Crab

Started thinking about a speech for the wedding reception. Wrote up a small thing. It’s got its thank-yous and whatnot, but it’s personal, so that’s all that matters. Not sure where I would work it into the program, considering that most weddings focus on the bride and her speech. I don’t even know if Maile is going to say anything.

Speaking of the program, we need to sit down with Mel and hammer out an agenda. I think we’ve been putting it off for too long. I’ve always had an idea of what would happen when, but I never delved into the details of the exact timing and sequence of events. Yet it’s very important, like when the hairstylist needs to know when to work on people in time for the photographer’s session. It’s no longer as simple as just getting dressed and thinking about traffic on your way to dinner.

Maile and Mel saw samples of the centerpieces. I think they’re awesome. The tall vases look pretty, and the smaller candled centerpieces are cool. Maile wants to look for an alternative candleholder to better match the tall vases, but if she can’t find anything, she is perfectly content with the current style.

Whilst there, the florist made mention of getting the media involved in our wedding. That’s the second or third vendor to say that, and it’s making me wonder just how “abnormal” our wedding is. And by “getting the media involved,” they mean contacting one of the local news agencies to run a piece on it. Is our wedding that much of a story? Is it that different? To have multiple vendors (who may or may not have had contact with each other) suggest a media story seems to indicate such.

I told Mel that if any media agency wants to interview me, it will have to be after the fact. I don’t want to talk to someone about something that’s yet to happen, or that is happening. I want to be able to look back on the event and laugh. For example, when the RVSP card issue was brought to my attention, my first thought was… well, I had no coherent thought. I was fairly upset about the screw-up and wanted to blame somebody (except myself). I needed a couple of minutes to cool down, consider what had happened, weigh my options, and eventually pass it off as something that can no longer be helped. It was a mistake, and since I can’t find a record of what I submitted to the printer, there’s nothing to indicate where the fault is. Plus, even if I could nail down who was responsible (even if it’s myself), it doesn’t help matters that people got a vague RSVP card. So why fret?

Instead I’ll take the stand that if someone send in a card “as is,” I can assume with a fair amount of certainty that they will be in attendance. I can still call them up to verify, and ultimately that level of “extra” work is something I have to suck up and do, given the situation. No amount of whining or crying is going to magically make it all better.

So given all that, I think I would need a few moments after everything is all said and done before I can speak to a stranger about what happened. I think this applies even more for a case where in the end, I have no control over the result. A news crew or reporter (or the editor) has final say on what the story will be; they’re just getting my footage and words and they’re the ones who will put it together.

If they want to film the events as it takes place, I’m going to have to insist that they stay out of everyone’s way. No intrusion upon people or activities, no use of floodlights or anything that might interfere with the ceremony or reception, and they have to give up their spot if requested. I’m sorry, but any media will be second fiddle to the primary players on that day, because in the end it is a wedding for friends and family, not a story. If whatever media can’t agree to it, then it’s no skin off my back. I won’t care if it’s not reported, if it’s not aired.

Maile sent me pictures of a hair-and-makeup test session. When I saw them I had fuzzable feeling in my chest. Made me crack a smile.

I’m never usually the one to go “Wow! That’s so awesome!” with my mouth agape, my eyes wide, and overall expression of being blown away. Usually my reactions to such moments are “Wow. That’s cool.” Inside, however, I’m usually feeling the wow-it’s-awesome feeling; just the outside is more muted.

So don’t be surprised if, during the wedding, it looks like I’m just amused at the activity. I’m probably going to be all fiddy-giddy inside, full of the rapturous wonder that is marital celebrations.

Or I’m going to be drunk.

Photo session was a blast. Had quite a lot of fun. At times I felt stiff, like I didn’t know what to do with my arms. I think it was partly because some of the poses were a bit unnatural; the two of us don’t normally stand cheek-to-cheek and stare at each other. However, I think a good reason was the fact that for a Sunday, the university is pretty crowded. I’m sure we gave all the international students staying at the dorms a nice pleasant distraction.

I might have to cave with the videographer, and settle for the standard package of a slideshow, pre-bridal reenactment, and wedding ceremony highlight. The cost to do what I wanted is prohibitive, and the work to finangle an alternative is too much. My last resort is to ask the video guy if he can just focus on Maile, and don’t make me look all sappy-fied and romantical.

The reason for this is because the reaction people will have to seeing me in soft focus, looking like a Hallmark movie actor showering the woman with love, is NOT going to have people think, “Aww, how romantic.” Rather, everyone will be, “Pshaw, okay, if you say so.”

Not too worried about that right now. There are more pressing matters at hand, namely the fact that my USB jump drive has failed and I’ve lost all the work I’ve done for the wedding. The drive contained my wedding spreadsheet, full of addresses and vendors and the total budget. I managed to save some files with a utility called PhotoRec (free), but unfortunately, the big wedding file couldn’t be recovered.

Maile has an older copy. Actually, she had the most recent work, but she accidentally overwrote it with an older email attachment before sending it to me. It’s not a loss, since it still has a lot of the work I put into it. Most importantly, it has all the costs!

Hopefully there won’t be any actual work today, so I can get some recovery tasks in.

The boutique called Maile and told her that they got her dress. So she’s rather excited, to say the least. The dress ended up being a bit cheaper than Maile anticipated, though it still punches the wallet at $1,500.00.

Speaking of punching the wallet, the quote from the florist was $8,000.00 for everything. Bridal bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages for the mothers and grandmothers, archway for the ceremony decorated with flowers, stanchions, drapery, cake decorations, lei for the emcee, and centerpieces for 20 tables. Now, $8k is a lot of money, and much of that is for the archway (which we’re renting for $1,200) and the centerpieces (which we’re buying for $3,000).

We’re going to see if we can knock that number down to a respectable $3,000.00. For starters, the groom and groomsmen don’t need flowers, the cake doesn’t really need decorating, and the mothers can get by without corsages. We can also provide our own materials such as the vases for the centerpieces and linens for drapery, and get leis from elsewhere.

We will also see what the florist can do given our budget. The florist’s vision has little to no green, meaning there wouldn’t be any stems anywhere, and yet the size of the arrangements means more flowers. The types of flowers are more towards the expensive end, too. So we’ll see what we can do.

Today I joined Maile on her diet. Now I am a willing participant in the Medifast plan, since I could stand to lose some weight. I figure, since we both managed to kick the smoking habit, the two of us can maintain this diet without cheating.

My dad expressed an interest in a sushi bar for the wedding reception. Turns out, however, that to get the sushi bar one has to arrange for a different dinner menu. We considered both selections and decided to stick with the original buffet. Even my dad said that he doesn’t want to sacrifice the whole meal just for sushi; it’d have been neat, but not important.

Maile and I will probably get the van when it comes in. Her old car will be used by Keoni for work-related purposes, until he’s established enough to keep paying for it. I think the functionality of the van will serve its purpose now without sacrificing future use, so it ends up being a good investment. It’s too bad the value drops dramatically once Maile drives it off the lot.

It feels like I am supposed to do something this week. I installed free Rainlendar software, which is basically an electronic planner that sits on your computer desktop. It’s kinda neat as far as its functionality, but there are some things that could be improved. For example, the alarm feature which notifies you of an upcoming event or task can be easily dismissed. I’d like it more if it needed a few more involved steps to dismiss, which would increase the chances of you actually doing what it is the program is reminding you to do!

I liken it to the alarm clock you put across the bedroom, forcing you to actually get up to turn it off.

Anyway, despite Rainlendar, I still feel like I’m forgetting to do something.

I have veggie stixs. They’re supposed to be good for me. Maybe I will eat the whole bag for lunch.

Maile and I were looking at a new car. A minivan, to be specific. 2007 Toyota Sienna LE, if you want more details.

We can afford it because we’ve saved enough to pay for it in cash, options and accessories inclusive. Maile needs a new car as her current automobile is on the razor’s edge; it works.. for now. Plus, the minivan provides functionality as far as cargo room, passenger capability (we’re looking at the 7-passenger variant), and some comfort. Maile likes the space and finds it easy to get in and out of the vehicle.

The model we’re looking at has dual power sliding doors, each with its own power window. Something I had never heard of in a van, though now that it’s there I wonder why it was never offered as standard. The driver’s console is useful and allows for easy access without compromising attention to the road. Passengers don’t have much in terms of distractions (no rear dvd player or nothing), but living in Hawaii does not imply long road trips.

The question thus remains, should we get the van now or wait? The specific van Maile wants won’t arrive until sometime later this month, so we just put a deposit to secure its purchase, and we have the option of declining with full refund. Getting it now wouldn’t hurt us financially, and Maile will be comfortable in the fact that as a new car, it won’t be prone to breakdowns immediately. Or, I should say, the chances are decreased dramatically.

Even with our upcoming wedding, the cost of the van would not impact the cost of the ceremony and reception, because we’ve already allocated funds for those. Whatever shortfall there is will be covered by our work income, which Maile is already receiving.

The one big thing that would factor against getting the van now would be Maile’s statement that her old car would be given to her brother, under the condition that he is able to afford it. That is, he has enough income to pay for its insurance, registration, safety checks, and whatever maintenance is required. That was the arrangement made by the family, and as of now I do not know whether Keoni is able to do it right away. It may take him some time, beyond the date the minivan is expected to arrive.

If we get the van anyway, what will we do with Maile’s old car? If Keoni can’t afford it, will the old car just sit in the carport?

I just finished writing a check for $1000.00. It is for a non-refundable deposit at the Hyatt Regency Waikiki, where I will be having a dinner reception. I don’t know if it’s the sudden loss of one thousand dollars or the fact that it’s non-refundable, but I am left with a big empty feeling in my heart. Strange, no? Why am I paying $1k? It’s for a wedding reception. I am getting married next April.

Surprise!

It will be held on Sunday, 6 April 2008. Maile and I initially wanted August 8 because it symbolized triple prosperity (quadruple if you consider we have been together for 8 years). However, it seems everyone else on the island is shooting for that date, because by the time we got around to checking availability (maybe a month ago), everywhere was booked. Those places that weren’t booked had a strict policy of not accepting reservations longer than a year in advance, meaning we’d have to wait until August of this year to get August of next. Or, they had the location open for a ceremony, but no place to hold a reception. Or, they had plenty of room for a reception, but only for lunch, and since 8/8/08 is a Friday not too many of our friends and family can make it to lunch.

We’ll have to be happy with double prosperity for the date we decided upon. 2008 ends in an 8 and is a multiple of 8 (by 251, in case you didn’t know. I didn’t; I had to look it up), and see reference to how long we’ve been together for bonus. We started dating 5 April 2000, so it’s only one day removed from the anniversary. Some significance there, I think. A Sunday means weekend, which means more people would attend. It also means some people will go to work the next day, so alcohol prices will decrease for some nice savings! Plus, the Hyatt gives a 5% discount on food and beverage, plus some extra comps for Sunday/weekday weddings.

Contrary to popular belief, the bride is not the one who is coordinating things. That duty has been volunteered upon my cousin Melanie, who takes a particularly masochistic delight in wedding plans. I would not venture to guess where she gets this excited energy for something so.. I don’t know, particular? I think I would be the first mate in manning the ship of wedding designs, since I have been designated to handle most of the decisions. Mel does all the research and I choose what to go with. Mel finds available locations and I decide where. I also make phone calls inquiring about availability of officiants, musicians, and stationary. Mel is checking on flowers.

Maile plays Bratz on the Gamecube and takes Lucky to the dog park.

Now, this picture is oversimplified; Maile has to make a few decisions, after all. And I’m not totally in control of everything, nor would I want to be. However, my lust for knowledge compels me to try and know the itty-bitty details of the wedding ceremony and subsequent reception, and it is here that I am introduced into the diabolical world of the wedding business.

Bunch of blood-sucking leeches, the lot!

Time was, a wedding was a simple affair. Show up at a place wearing nice clothes, say your lines, eat some food, congratulations you are wed. Now, you have to book your venue, often times the same location, but other times two separate bookings for the ceremony and reception. You have to book the photographer, you have to book the officiant, you have to book the entertainment, and oh no the photographer isn’t available that day is there another date we can book the ceremony no the date is blocked by another function and what do you mean there’s a convention that weekend?

Madness, I tell you. In addition to the big things like the ceremony, there are invitations to create, favors for your guests, the cake, flowers, hair/makeup, and the clothes. And each of these things (above included) there are individual vendors you have to go through. Granted, some are more easily worked in than others (I haven’t heard of a printing company that would refuse to make last-minute invitations), but each of these aspects incurs individual costs. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a vendor who would offer to cut your wedding cake and serve it to the guests. Speaking of which, some places charge you to use a cake knife!

After all is said and done, I’m looking at over $20k. I’m just going to sit a while and stare at that number.

I had to deliver some foodstuffs to an exhibition. I was told that I would be delivering some gourmet coffee and some biscotti. The vehicle used to deliver these goods was a cross between a tricycle and a segway. Maile accompanied me on my journey, standing behind me like kids would stand on a trike’s rear axle.

The trip was mostly uneventful until near the end. We were taking back roads because we couldn’t bring this weird contraption onto the highway, and we found ourselves on a dirt road near farmland. In a case of self-fulfilling prophecy, I was in the midst of conversation with Maile and discussing how the vehicle we were in was efficient, but if I took a turn too fast it could tip over. Lo and behold, I take a turn, one of the wheels hits a rock, and we tip over.

At this time I became aware that in addition to Maile, we had a little midget along for the ride. The three of us gathered up the container of coffee and biscotti and went into a general store to check if anything was damaged.

It was the strangest coffee I had ever since. The grounds were white or cream-colored, and had the consistency of flour (maybe it was flour). The biscotti looked like dried, fried pasta. Except everything really was coffee and biscotti.

Things looked okay, so we repackaged everything and prepared to head out. I then noticed Janet KS in the store, buying an unknown item. She saw me, said hi, and then saw Maile and said hi. Then, “Oh, you two know each other?”

Strange.

One of the cories died, so now I have 3. Maile gave me her two sterbai cories to up my total to 5, and now everyone seems a bit more active. Perhaps the similar markings lead each to believe there’s more than what really exist.

Argento is getting big. He also seems to have a gap in his gill cover, which from what I’ve read online, seems to be a minor genetic defect. Most reports indicate that the fish can still live to a ripe old age, so I’m not too worried.

I have approximately two more weeks of school left, and if all my grades are of passing level, I should receive my diploma in a couple of months. During that time I’ll have to find a job. I’ve only had one interview so far, with a private firm, but I’ve sent apps and resumes to many places.

Maile and I expect to be in Las Vegas late May, for vacation. My family is flying there, too, so it’ll be a nice outing.

Seems many people I know are living in or moving to the San Francisco area.

Today was the horseback crater ride. We had to check into the ranch headquarters by 0915, and since it was a two hour drive from the airport, we left at 0700 without eating breakfast. We ended up arriving way early, like at 0830, and that was even after stopping to call for directions because we thought we had passed the headquarters (turned out that we were just down the road). Continued up the slope, stopping off at the small visitor’s center about halfway up. All during the drive it was nice and sunny, rather cool, so we felt we were in for a nice ride.

Then we got up to the top, and the cloud cover was so thick that everything was just a blur. There was a continual drizzle of rain surrounding us, and as we talked to the guide it seemed as though the ride was going to be canceled. However, the weather cleared a bit, so we all mounted up and took off.

Going down the slope, the scenery was picturesque. The landscape inside the crater is like being in another world, filled with features you don’t normally see on a day-to-day basis. In fact we saw this one flock of birds called chuckers (at least, that’s what the guide called them). Small birds, they run around the crater and glide off of ridges. I guess they’re so used to human activity that they even ran under our horses to get from one side of the trail to the other.

At the bottom of the crater we stopped for lunch, after a two-hour ride. Getting back to ground was rather wobbly, and our knees ached. Every so often during the ride the clouds would roll in and we’d get rained on, but it wasn’t anything bad.

We had spoken too soon, though, as the weather turned worse during the ride up. The clouds fell and the rain and wind came rushing in, making life pretty miserable. Thankfully we were given rain gear before we started the ride, so our clothes weren’t soaked. Much. The wind was so strong that rain came in horizontal, stinging our eyes and cheeks. The clouds were so thick that you couldn’t see the horse in front of you. The horses themselves felt as miserable as us, turning their heads away from the rain and sometimes having to walk sideways to get back up the trail. Maile and I got windburn.

When we got out of the crater, I discovered that the disposable camera we brought had been sitting in a small puddle in my pocket. Water drained out of it when I pulled it out, and we were really worried that the film had been damaged beyond recovery. I decided to try and develop the roll anyway, and hope for the best.

Butt and back sore, we ate dinner at Canoes, and contemplated the prospect of doing more “adventure” the next day, at the lava tube in Hana.

I have to say, though, that I really liked the horseback ride. Yes, the weather sucked, yes it was cold, but I think it would have been worse had it been hot and sunny. The sunburn would not have been bearable. And I felt like I was finally roughing it outdoors. All in all, I wouldn’t trade that ride in for any other.

Maile and I woke up at 0430 to get ready for our trip to Maui. Our flight wasn’t until 0630, but with all the new security measures in place (and the fact that we hadn’t taken a trip in 3 years), we decided it’d be better to be early than late. Arrived at the airport at 0510, so we grabbed some breakfast after we checked in. Still had about an hour to kill.

Landed on Maui around 0715, got the rental car and drove the 45 minutes from the airport to the hotel, the Royal Lahaina Resort. Unfortunately, we couldn’t check in until 1500, so we held our baggage at the concierge and drove back out to visit the Maui Ocean Center.

The MOC was a pleasant experience, and a good start to the vacation. Their indoor reef displays are, apparently, the largest in the nation. There were tons of sea life, and not just limited to the reef, neither. We got to the open sea exhibit where they were holding a shark week event, so the tanks were full of black tips and makos, and lots of rays. Maile got freaked out each time a shark swam out from behind the wall. My favorite exhibit, though, was the jellyfish tank. It looked like a giant lava lamp with florescent colors and a slow current to move the jellyfish along. It was quite surreal, and I wouldn’t mind having something like that in my house.

After the aquarium, we still had hours to kill, so we decided to visit the Maui Winery, which was about a 1-2 hour drive down the scary Kula Highway. People say that the Hana Highway, with its twists and turns, is stressful, but it’s nothing compared to Kula. Kula has its own twists, but what makes the road more nerve-wracking is the hilly terrain, such that as you’re taking a turn you can’t see where the road is going, much less if an oncoming car has crossed the center line. That two-lane road is even more dangerous when the clouds roll down from Haleakala, but thankfully our journey was sunlit.

The Maui Winery was celebrating its 30th anniversary, so there were a lot of tourists and locals. It was so crowded that we couldn’t partake in the tasting of the various wines, and even then, I was doubtful of my ability to drive that damn highway with just a smidgen of alcohol in my system. We wanted to take the tour through the grounds, but because of the anniversary celebration, all the winemakers and cellar masters were there to conduct. And they were a long-winded bunch. Standing in the sun listening to the various planting of grapes and all sorts of technical details was too much for us. Top it off with a bunch of wine geeks asking all kinds of questions and the tour just dragged. Maile and I left after the third stop; we didn’t even get to the cellar. We did buy some pineapple wine before we left, for gifts.

By the time we left the winery and drove the rest of the afternoon to the hotel, our room was ready. We checked in and promptly fell asleep.

Later in the evening we visited Crystal and her two children, Justin and Skye. Skye was rather shy, but she was only 5. Justin, 13, used to be like that when he was 5, too.