Fear the Crab

Started thinking about a speech for the wedding reception. Wrote up a small thing. It’s got its thank-yous and whatnot, but it’s personal, so that’s all that matters. Not sure where I would work it into the program, considering that most weddings focus on the bride and her speech. I don’t even know if Maile is going to say anything.

Speaking of the program, we need to sit down with Mel and hammer out an agenda. I think we’ve been putting it off for too long. I’ve always had an idea of what would happen when, but I never delved into the details of the exact timing and sequence of events. Yet it’s very important, like when the hairstylist needs to know when to work on people in time for the photographer’s session. It’s no longer as simple as just getting dressed and thinking about traffic on your way to dinner.

Maile and Mel saw samples of the centerpieces. I think they’re awesome. The tall vases look pretty, and the smaller candled centerpieces are cool. Maile wants to look for an alternative candleholder to better match the tall vases, but if she can’t find anything, she is perfectly content with the current style.

Whilst there, the florist made mention of getting the media involved in our wedding. That’s the second or third vendor to say that, and it’s making me wonder just how “abnormal” our wedding is. And by “getting the media involved,” they mean contacting one of the local news agencies to run a piece on it. Is our wedding that much of a story? Is it that different? To have multiple vendors (who may or may not have had contact with each other) suggest a media story seems to indicate such.

I told Mel that if any media agency wants to interview me, it will have to be after the fact. I don’t want to talk to someone about something that’s yet to happen, or that is happening. I want to be able to look back on the event and laugh. For example, when the RVSP card issue was brought to my attention, my first thought was… well, I had no coherent thought. I was fairly upset about the screw-up and wanted to blame somebody (except myself). I needed a couple of minutes to cool down, consider what had happened, weigh my options, and eventually pass it off as something that can no longer be helped. It was a mistake, and since I can’t find a record of what I submitted to the printer, there’s nothing to indicate where the fault is. Plus, even if I could nail down who was responsible (even if it’s myself), it doesn’t help matters that people got a vague RSVP card. So why fret?

Instead I’ll take the stand that if someone send in a card “as is,” I can assume with a fair amount of certainty that they will be in attendance. I can still call them up to verify, and ultimately that level of “extra” work is something I have to suck up and do, given the situation. No amount of whining or crying is going to magically make it all better.

So given all that, I think I would need a few moments after everything is all said and done before I can speak to a stranger about what happened. I think this applies even more for a case where in the end, I have no control over the result. A news crew or reporter (or the editor) has final say on what the story will be; they’re just getting my footage and words and they’re the ones who will put it together.

If they want to film the events as it takes place, I’m going to have to insist that they stay out of everyone’s way. No intrusion upon people or activities, no use of floodlights or anything that might interfere with the ceremony or reception, and they have to give up their spot if requested. I’m sorry, but any media will be second fiddle to the primary players on that day, because in the end it is a wedding for friends and family, not a story. If whatever media can’t agree to it, then it’s no skin off my back. I won’t care if it’s not reported, if it’s not aired.

Maile sent me pictures of a hair-and-makeup test session. When I saw them I had fuzzable feeling in my chest. Made me crack a smile.

I’m never usually the one to go “Wow! That’s so awesome!” with my mouth agape, my eyes wide, and overall expression of being blown away. Usually my reactions to such moments are “Wow. That’s cool.” Inside, however, I’m usually feeling the wow-it’s-awesome feeling; just the outside is more muted.

So don’t be surprised if, during the wedding, it looks like I’m just amused at the activity. I’m probably going to be all fiddy-giddy inside, full of the rapturous wonder that is marital celebrations.

Or I’m going to be drunk.