Fear the Crab

It’s been a year since parenthood became my full-time job.
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Also known as Children’s Day, but growing up I always recognized it as Boys Day. Girls had their own day on March 3rd.
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It’s time for an update since my announcement of impending parenthood back in April!

The broodling arrived early November, at 20-in (50.8 cm) long and a hefty weight of 8 lbs 9.7 oz (3.9 kg), and his name is Harley. He has a middle name of “Hiccup,” because that’s all he’s been doing since 10 weeks in the womb. Not consistently, of course, but at least once per day he’ll have an episode of cute-sounding-but-probably-bothersome hiccup noises.

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Like many who grew up in the 1980s, I was a child much infatuated with the savvy marketing skills of Hasbro and the gamut of cartoon advertisements for toys of all shapes and sizes. And, like a few who, whether by chance, luck, or sheer laziness, never actually threw away or donated these childhood mementos, I still have some of them. Chief among the old toy boxes and cardboard packaging are my GI Joe 3.75″ action figures.

Now that I’m expecting, I decided to see if any of my old toys were salvageable. I’m not one to pre-determine what kind of gear is “gender appropriate” so to me it doesn’t matter if I have a boy or a girl; if the podling decides to go old-school with GI Joe and Cobra and make pew-pew noises where there are a lot of imaginary explosions and no deaths, I will be ready. And very eager to join in!
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Typically today is the deadline for filing IRS tax returns, so despite this year’s extension I still consider it the penultimate life-changing moment that can make or break a person’s financial standing.

It’s all that and more for me at this point, because if all goes well, come late October I will be able to claim a dependent in my household. This cranky crab is going to welcome a broodling.
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