Fear the Crab

There are days when, despite the plethora of activity occurring within, I do not feel like noting anything here. Which seems rather strange, given the fact that I am writing about things here, and I will continue to elaborate on the day’s activity. Perhaps then, this is not such a day.

* * *

I mowed the lawn, using a fancy walk-behind gas-powered mower. It is fancy because the wheels adjust independently to their own heights, enabling me to lower, raise, or angle the blades for customized cutting. The mower has a gas pedal of sorts, more like a lever near the handlebars, which I have to hold down if I want the engine to continue running. I suppose it’s more like a safety feature, turning the mower off if I let go of it. There’s also a small lever that spins the front wheels, helping me push the mower along.

Despite the fanciness, I still needed to push the darn thing around the lawn. The grass grows unevenly, with thick patches on one side and dry areas on another. I think the dry side gets too much sun, while the lush side falls into shadow later in the day since it’s closer to the house. I finished off the lawn with the weed-whacker, trimming the edges and taking care of the areas the mower couldn’t reach.

One important lesson I learned; make sure the bag is properly attached. And the end of my mowing adventure, the bag was noticeably empty. I first thought that I really didn’t cut any grass, but it turned out that all the cuttings went into my shoes. The bag itself was just sitting on top of the frame, pretending to be a State worker.

* * *

A big dumpster arrived on Friday. It is for the old rotten, termite-eaten fence that was replaced by a composite material. So naturally, Maile and I took this opportunity to get rid of a few other things. One desk, one dresser, and one table were tossed in, all of which suffered from wood rot and termites. Some old broken weights literally covered in rust, including a nautilus-type home-gym system, went on top of the furniture. You know, to keep it down.

We wanted to dump more things, but then we realized that we might not have any room leftover for the old fence. I suppose stopping there was a good thing, because afterward I felt very itchy. Likely all the splinters, dust, rust, and insect droppings were doing a macarena on my skin.

A proper shower was in order. Given the earlier sun exposure, I promptly took a two-hour nap.

* * *

Maile and I finished the evening with dinner at Hy’s Steak House. Tasted the escargot for starters, dove into a prime rib and garlic steak, and topped it all off with the cherries jubilee ice cream flambe for dessert. Frickin’ awesome, I tell ya.

Afterward we stopped by Macy’s to take advantage of the wedding gift cards we collected. We looked for curtains, but couldn’t find any. Does Macy’s not carry curtains? I find it hard to believe that Hawaii’s flagship Macy’s store does not stock what a simple online search displays.

Granted, we may have just missed them. We wandered the bed and bath section, where we thought curtains would be, but we could only find shower curtains. So instead we bought some picture frames for the living room, since Maile wanted a coherent theme. Perhaps I’ll take a picture of the area, when everything’s complete.

Or maybe I’ll just wait for another blousey day.

My dad expressed an interest in a sushi bar for the wedding reception. Turns out, however, that to get the sushi bar one has to arrange for a different dinner menu. We considered both selections and decided to stick with the original buffet. Even my dad said that he doesn’t want to sacrifice the whole meal just for sushi; it’d have been neat, but not important.

Maile and I will probably get the van when it comes in. Her old car will be used by Keoni for work-related purposes, until he’s established enough to keep paying for it. I think the functionality of the van will serve its purpose now without sacrificing future use, so it ends up being a good investment. It’s too bad the value drops dramatically once Maile drives it off the lot.

It feels like I am supposed to do something this week. I installed free Rainlendar software, which is basically an electronic planner that sits on your computer desktop. It’s kinda neat as far as its functionality, but there are some things that could be improved. For example, the alarm feature which notifies you of an upcoming event or task can be easily dismissed. I’d like it more if it needed a few more involved steps to dismiss, which would increase the chances of you actually doing what it is the program is reminding you to do!

I liken it to the alarm clock you put across the bedroom, forcing you to actually get up to turn it off.

Anyway, despite Rainlendar, I still feel like I’m forgetting to do something.

I have veggie stixs. They’re supposed to be good for me. Maybe I will eat the whole bag for lunch.

As I sit here, munching on cereal bars for lunch, I am reminded of the time I tried to make Rice Krispie treats. I emptied the entire box of cereal into a big pot, because the ingredients indicated that it took the entire box to make the treats. Then, according to the instructions, I add the butter, so I added a stick of butter, because the ingredients indicated that it took an entire stick of butter to make the treats.

Unfortunately, the instructions did not make it readily clear that I was supposed to melt the butter before adding it, so there I am trying to mix cereal and cold butter whilst the stove is still on. About the time I realized the inevitable outcome of this concoction, I had a central mass of stuck cereal around a gooey core of butter, surrounded by burnt krispies.

At least I had a bag of marshmallows to snack on.

My “elite cooking skills” can be traced to Mr Rogers’ Neighborhood. In particular is the episode where Mr Rogers made peanut butter.

From what I recall, Mr Rogers took a plastic Ziploc bag and filled it with unsalted peanuts. Then he added a stick of butter. The next step, and this was very important, was to close the bag (otherwise everything would fall out).

The final step would be to take a rolling pin and run it across the bag until the peanuts and butter were mashed together to form.. peanut butter!

It took about 10 years for me to figure out that this simple recipe was incorrect, though now I have no idea how they actually do make peanut butter.

The Folks have offered to pay for the hotel for the wedding, which basically includes the reception, ceremony site rental, and parking. In exchange, they want to set the menu. So, happy day. That’s a good $13k off my back.

Just came off a weekend of sniffling and feeling miserable. I got better on Wednesday, and today I came back to work and the joyous drudgery continues!

I was too tired to pack my lunch, so I ate popcorn and cereal bars.

I want to sleep, to take a nap and dream. Actually, I don’t need the dream, just the nap.

Toured the Hyatt facilities yesterday afternoon. The catering manager met with us to give a brief rundown of the area, where things would be set up, where people will go and where they’ll stand. Also got a rough idea of the floor plan, plus the alternate ceremony site in case of rain.

Actually, the alternate site looks a lot better. The primary site is on a terrace overlooking the beach, with a white lattice gazebo, white chairs, and white carpet runner. We were lucky because there was going to be a wedding that night, so everything was already set up. The bridal party would enter from behind the hotel’s large waterfall, cross a pedestrian bridge (the terrace is on the third floor, and the hotel has a large open area in the middle), and proceed down the aisle.

The problem is that the location is right next to the pool and pool bar. The jacuzzi has front-row seating, though I was informed that it would be closed and covered at the time of the ceremony. On the other side is a restaurant with outdoor patio, and right below us is the busy street of buses, taxis, loud radios, and the occasional ambulance (I should have known about the street, though). So I can get married next to fat men in speedos!

In comparison, the alternate site is indoors, situated right next to the banquet hall so it is very close. It is actually a part of the banquet hall that’s closed off with those standard banquet hall dividers. The room is air-conditioned and is bigger than the outdoor site in terms of the number of people it can seat. It’s true that we won’t get the “scenic” ambiance and outdoor lighting, but in addition to the cons listed above, there was one thing that really convinced me to pursue the indoor location.

Big-ass pigeon sitting on top of the lattice gazebo (“There’s a reason why gazebos are white!”).

Still have to inform the hotel about the change in location, but it shouldn’t be too much of a hassle because the alternate site is already reserved for us.

I also discovered more information about the reception buffet, in particular the details surrounding alcohol service. The hotel contract and printed material was rather vague on things, and left me with the perception of only two choices: everyone pays for their own drinks, or I pay an hourly rate determined by head count.

Thankfully the catering manager clarified these things. I do have the option of a hosted bar, meaning that basically I pick up the tab. I can also set a cap on how much alcohol will be served. Let’s say that I decide to limit service to $2,000. Once that amount is reached, I can decide then if I want to extend the limit, change policy to have guests buy their own, or stop alcohol service all-together. I can even select the alcohol to serve, such as only having domestic beer and house wine, or going for the imported beers and premium liquors. The $2k would also include any sodas I decide to have, but juice would be covered by the punch station so I don’t have to worry about that. I figure $2k is a decent-enough amount, given that the reception is on a Sunday.

With the reductions in reception costs (Maile also knocked the guest list down to 160), it comes out to approximately $11k after taxes and service charges (20%!), but before any discounts are applied. That amount qualifies us for “Level Two” gifts from the hotel, which include a free room in the penthouse suite, ten parking passes, and a three-tier wedding cake. Sunday weddings give us a “Level Upgrade” as a bonus, bumping us to Level Three for an additional night in the penthouse, plus ten more parking passes.

Those twenty parking passes will come in handy, since it costs $5 to self-park and $8 for valet service. I’d like to pay for everyone’s parking, so the more “free” parking I can get, the better. I can’t begin to guess how many people would drive, but if I base it off the number of invitations (which comes to 64), I might see parking costs upwards of $500 or more. 20 passes would knock that down to $370, which is a lot more reasonable.

Hopefully the total cost won’t go over $20,000. We don’t have any quotes regarding flowers, dresses, hair and makeup, or stationary, and estimated costs as of now is $18.9k. I know the dress will probably be expensive, perhaps $2,000. If we do our own stationary, we would save significantly there, and the hair and makeup fees would be discounted because we would have family do it. The flowers become key, because I have no idea what an average cost for flowers would be. The price varies widely because of selection, arrangement, and quantity.

Thankfully we have family that is willing to chip in on portions of the budget. I think Maile’s mom is going to buy the dress, and my folks have expressed a desire to help pay for the reception. While those are savings on my end, I still want to keep the wedding around the $20k mark, using that figure as a total, not what I personally end up paying.

So I’m thinking of cutting out some parts of my wedding guest list. With the buffet at $47 a head, and with the list close to 175 people, the prices were starting to look a little steep.

Trouble is, I didn’t have many people on my list in the first place. I cut out my personal friends on the continent, plus some old friends from the old workplace that I haven’t spoken to in years, and I only got the list down to 160. It’s hard because these are the people who’ve contributed to what I am today, and they are the first of my friends whom I would have liked to be in attendance. Some of them know Maile, too.

EDIT: Actually, the list is back up to 164. I forgot to add myself and Maile (because we have to eat, too!), as well as two more people from The Lab.

Still, less people on the list means less of a body count in the buffet line, which would substantially decrease the overall cost of food and beverage. Plus, we don’t need to make as many invitations, which can mean a significant reduction of about $100.

In other areas, I might have to push for recorded entertainment. The hotel will let me hook up my iPod to their sound system for $40, which is 10x less than the cheapest live DJ. I can fill up a playlist with the songs I want and let it run on shuffle, and when it comes time to actually play a specific song, I could delegate some volunteer to be in charge of that (since the iPod still plays as you’re searching for the song).

I also think I will have to reduce the time the bar remains open. I looked at the cost for 4 hours of operation (1730-2130), and I could save over $1k if I cut it down to 3 (so it ends at 2030 instead). It’s a Sunday buffet, so I don’t think many people will want to drink as late anyway. Of course, I could go even cheaper and require everyone to buy their own alcohol…

What worries me, though, is the fact that we still haven’t accounted for other costs, like flowers, hair & makeup for the bride, and even the wedding bands. The three-thousand dollars I “saved” may just go back in, though I admit it would still be slightly better.

I think we might seriously have to take out a loan. The thing is, I don’t want to get a loan and then start “upgrading” the wedding just because we suddenly have an influx of funds. I don’t want to get into the mindset that now I can afford to bring in my elementary school classmates, or the nice principal from Tuba City High. I don’t want to think that I could get a comedy team to perform at the reception, or a 10-piece big band with award-winning crooner.

I would rather make the wedding as minimal as possible whilst retaining some manner of elegance (because it’s for her), even if it means those in attendance don’t get what they’re used to getting (like a live band), or the invitations don’t have a map or directions.

There are other costs looming on the horizon; I can see them, and they think I’m pretty enough to eat.

I had to deliver some foodstuffs to an exhibition. I was told that I would be delivering some gourmet coffee and some biscotti. The vehicle used to deliver these goods was a cross between a tricycle and a segway. Maile accompanied me on my journey, standing behind me like kids would stand on a trike’s rear axle.

The trip was mostly uneventful until near the end. We were taking back roads because we couldn’t bring this weird contraption onto the highway, and we found ourselves on a dirt road near farmland. In a case of self-fulfilling prophecy, I was in the midst of conversation with Maile and discussing how the vehicle we were in was efficient, but if I took a turn too fast it could tip over. Lo and behold, I take a turn, one of the wheels hits a rock, and we tip over.

At this time I became aware that in addition to Maile, we had a little midget along for the ride. The three of us gathered up the container of coffee and biscotti and went into a general store to check if anything was damaged.

It was the strangest coffee I had ever since. The grounds were white or cream-colored, and had the consistency of flour (maybe it was flour). The biscotti looked like dried, fried pasta. Except everything really was coffee and biscotti.

Things looked okay, so we repackaged everything and prepared to head out. I then noticed Janet KS in the store, buying an unknown item. She saw me, said hi, and then saw Maile and said hi. Then, “Oh, you two know each other?”

Strange.

Last full day on Maui. Met up with Crystal and her family for a hike to the Twin Falls, but unfortunately Maile and I weren’t dressed for the occasion. We wore jeans and boots, which you would normally expect to use on hikes. Turns out that the hike was really easy, and the hot weather made jeans and boots ill-advised. Then to get to one of the falls we had to wade through thigh-deep water. Not something you want to do with shoes and socks.

After the hike we went back to the hotel for a quick nap, then rejoined Crystal for dinner at the Palm Court, a restaurant at one of the Wailea hotels. Her husband Brian is a chef there, and our meal was comped, so it was really a wonderful surprise and a pleasant occasion. One of the specialties at the restaurant was their handmade pizza, topped to order. The service was excellent, though part of me wonders if it was because of Brian and Crystal. In the end, Maile and I ate too much and felt very uncomfortable, but it’s nice being full.

Tomorrow we head out to the airport for our trip home. We’ll be riding one of those turboprop airplanes, so it’ll be an experience.

Happy Birthday to Me!Maile took me out to dinner at the Prince Court. We had some Inniskilin, which was only our second sampling of that label. The first time we drank, it had a lychee taste to it. This time it had an apple juice taste. Both were good.

The buffet was pretty good. We both took from the salad bar, and “oysters in luau sauce.” Maile had some “crispy baked chicken with white sauce,” potatoes au gratin, some bbq meat that looked like something you’d find on a grill. I had some prime rib in addition to the bbq meat. It doesn’t seem like much, but past experience with buffets teaches us that our eyes are bigger than our stomachs. This way, we had room for dessert, which consisted of bread pudding, chocolate cream pie, and some strawberry cake.

Then we walked it off by cruising the DFS, and saying hi to old friends. Needless to say, nobody recognized me at first. Granted, the weight gain, long hair, and general scruffiness probably led them to think I was a criminal. A well-dressed, but scruffy, criminal. Too bad the Georges and Irene weren’t there. I haven’t spoken to them in ages.

I think tomorrow after work I’m going to wash the car. And if time permits, I’m going to wash Maile’s car, too.

I just realized that I haven’t had anything to eat except a sandwich.