Fear the Crab

The second bathroom in the house needs to be repaired, specifically the wall the separates the bathroom from the adjoining bedroom.  Said wall has suffered some water damage, rotting the base away and it is probably much much worse inside.  In order to get to the damaged wall, we have to go through the shower tile, so we all figured that it’s best the bathroom get a makeover.

It’s about time, I suppose.  The bathroom is over 40 years old, and everyone seems to agree that a remodel is in order.  Everyone also agrees that it’s going to cost me two arms and one leg and probably three fingers.

Maile and I purchased a near-complete set of bathroom fixtures and trim for the upcoming remodel, which totaled over two grand.  I say near-complete because I’m not sure if I’m forgetting something.  We have the faucets, shower valves and trim, toilet, tub, and accessories like towel rods.

We’re looking at Corian for our countertop and shower walls, and that process is still in estimation, but I’m pretty certain it will be more, if not much more, than the same price for the fixtures.  Could be double.

Then Maile and I will need new cabinets, some bypass shower doors, and new flooring.  Add in the catch-all of labor and I think I can expect to pay over 10k.

I have enough to pay for the whole thing.  I’ll just have to eat ketchup packets for sustenance for the next 33 years.

* * *

I listen to this at work.  On repeat.  For eight hours!

Alternate Link

I have noticed a disturbing trend amongst the fund-raising groups scattered across the island, particularly the small informal organizations like community sports teams or private dance troupes. The trend seems to center around camping out at a busy intersection, stand on the medians and corners with hand-held fishing nets, and literally beg for cash.

If I remember correctly, this method of fund-raising started with firefighters in California. I don’t remember the exact details, but because it’s a firefighter organization raising money for something other than their own personal pockets, I can get behind it and would willingly donate. On Oahu, the Hawaii Food Bank holds an annual drive-by where you can hand-off small cans of food or cash into their waiting nets.

Now it appears as though everyone and their mothers (literally) are hitting the streets soliciting money. If you’re stopped at a red light, these beggars will troll the lines of cars hoping to see a window roll down and a wad of greenbacks come tumbling out. Sometimes they give you looks as they pass by you and get nothing in return.

Meanwhile you have more of the group on the sides, holding signs that ask you to support their team or troupe. Okay, fine, at least I know who’s getting this money, but now I don’t know what the money is for! Do they have to buy new uniforms? Are they taking a trip to national competition in someplace like Colorado? Or is it, like the case of one local little league baseball team, to help pay for the parents of the players to fly to a tournament?!

Even if I’m made aware of what the money is for, why the hell should I give my hard-earned cash over to some bloke who’s not even working for it? All they’re doing is standing on the side of the road, begging for a handout! At least some homeless dudes might offer to “work for food” (though lately even some of the homeless have turned to outright begging). I’d better see some kids on the side doing some cartwheels or performing some kind of dance routine. Put on a show, sing some songs, do something to earn this money.

There are still groups who do the time-honored traditions of candy-vending or car washes. These groups earn a little less of my ire, but there are still areas where I wish they’d put in a little more effort. I’ve had kids and some adults come to my door and just ask if I want to buy some chili tickets. Okay… thanks for telling me who you are, first, and what this is for. I usually turn away these vendors, even if I really really wanted what they were selling. I’d rather wait and give the money to someone who deserves it.

The amount of consideration I give to a fund-raising offer is a direct result of the amount of effort said fund-raising group is willing to put into the sale. I’ve bought sweet breads, discount cards, chili tickets, and candy from well-spoken representatives because they bothered to sell me the goods. They told me who they were, what they were selling, what the money was for, and how much it was.

I’ve been through the work of fund-raising. I’ve had to go door-to-door and vend my fair share of huli-huli chicken, chocolate-covered almonds, M&Ms, and Zippy’s chili. I’ve had to raise money for little league baseball uniforms, intermediate band trips, elementary school JPO trips, and karate dojo activities. I would sell maybe 1 item per every 10 houses, but at each one I would introduce myself and state what I was selling and why.

It was hard, yeah, and I would have rather been playing in the street than going door-to-door, but motherfucker I worked. The least some of these groups could do is the same.

Last night the University of Hawaii Foundation called me, at 2045 as I was lying in bed. Normally I don’t expect calls from organizations at that hour, especially on a Sunday evening, but I didn’t feel intruded upon nor was I offended once I learned the nature of the call. After listening to the introductory spiel and want for information (I told them to look me up in the directory, but I don’t think the girl caught the hint that I was now staff), the UHF hit me up for $500.00.

Ew. No. Uh-uh. $500.00 is a big hit on my paycheck after all the taxes and other deductions, plus expenses coming up for household maintenance and it’s right before the big holiday season. I politely explained that I do not have $500 to spare, to which the girl responded with a request for $100.

Another no, since I was already put off by the five bennies. At this point I was starting to lose patience, so I asked if there was an online donation form or somesuch where I could at least consider an amount that I’ve determined myself. The girl told me that they can send me a donation card, but they’ll need a “minimum amount” to write on the card, and if I wanted to donate more then I could always donate more.

Of course, had they offered me that at the very beginning, when I was a lot more patient and pleasant and all-around in a good mood, I might have told them to send the card and mark it for something like $25.00. Trying to get people with a high amount from the get-go seems to be a surefire way to set someone on the wrong track.

On Saturday I went to softball practice. The women’s softball coach was gracious enough to let us borrow some bats and softballs. Only 4 other people showed up, though, so we just had batting practice. This lasted for a good hour, and right from the start I could tell just how out of shape I was (and still am). I also broke a couple of dime-sized blisters on my left hand, thanks to not wearing batting gloves and swinging a leather-wrapped bat with rapid frequency.

I’m going to use my bicycle gloves for Tuesday’s practice and Friday’s game. It’s not the same, but it’ll do for now. If I ever get into a regular league, then I will invest in new equipment.

I did manage to hit one over the fence, though, so that was a minor moment. Of course, the softball stadium fence is 200 feet away, so that’s not saying much.

As I understand it, a fair number of people in the US know that they are entitled to a free credit report every 12 months from the “big three” credit bureaus. It seems, however, that one of the three bureau reports is not quite so free. A quick, rudimentary google check of “experian” and “ripoff” will net you a truckload of blog posts, articles, and general complaints about what I call dirty practices by Experian.

Here’s how it works: In order to get your annual credit report, you go to annualcreditreport.com, enter your information, and are given the chance to choose from the three credit bureaus (TransUnion, Equifax, and Experian). You can select 1, 2, or all three bureaus and request a credit report from them.

When I got to the Experian website in early August, I entered the requested information and got my free credit score. What I failed to realize was that I had actually signed up for a “free 30-day trial membership” to Experian’s credit monitoring service. And wouldn’t you know it, early September I find a strange charge on my credit card. I didn’t cancel my 30-day free trial, so I now had to pay. Turns out that part of the information you are asked to provide is your credit card number. SO STUPID of me to provide it.

Basically, the charge is justified because I was a fucking idiot for not reading carefully. I was so caught up in getting my annual report that I failed to consider what was being asked of me. What I can do now is suck it up like a man, cancel my so-called membership, and closely monitor my statements to ensure that my membership is actually canceled.

TransUnion and Equifax don’t do this to you, nor do they ask you for a credit card number.

It seems like there are other things associated with Experian, such as that FreeCreditReport.com stuff we hear and see on media. If you go to freecreditreport.com (and not the other URL I provided above), you are actually signing up for “triple advantage” membership.

Basically, it boils down to this: If a company offers you a “free” service, but requests your credit card number, DON’T give it. Read carefully! Don’t be an idiot like me.

The meeting with the crane people was.. informative. And with the data I’ve collected, I think we can safely come to the decision that we’re probably not going to do it.

See, the concept is that you can use their stock designs, bring in your own custom design, or have a combination of the two. Their stock designs are nice, don’t get me wrong. Custom work does, of course, require an additional fee.

Yet, their stock designs seem immutable. The company seems unwilling to do a 90-degree rotation on things. Maile was interested in having two koi form a circle, ala yin-yang imagery. One of the koi designs the company had was the perfect shape, with the right curve. All it needed was a twist to the left, then a mirror-image copy to complete the circle. If I’m paying $700 for a bare-bones stock drawing, I’d at least expect the ability to do a simple rotation of it.

So, I don’t see us going through with it. I mean, heck, the company doesn’t even provide us with paper. I mean, I see us doing the folding ourselves (it’s “traditional”), but now you’re telling me that we have to buy our own paper?

The way I see it, $700 should get you at least the things I mentioned. Instead, it only gets you a plain white or black frame, the acrylic layer of stock designs, and one color of cranes.

Wait a minute. If I’m the one buying my own paper, and I’m the one folding the cranes, why do I have to pay extra to have more than one color of cranes in my design?!

I dreamt I was attending a wedding at a hotel. Seemed to have a very local, almost casual, feel to it. The only thing significant in my dream was that the bride found out some of the food couldn’t be delivered because of a “worm infestation.” I didn’t know if that meant the food was infected, or the banquet room was, but I do remember thinking that it was standard operating procedure.

Met with the chair-cover vendor yesterday. $8 a chair, for 200 chairs, equates to $1600. I will admit, chair covers greatly change the appearance and atmosphere of a wedding reception, especially when it matches the table linens and settings. I know some people would say that regular hotel-provided chairs would be fine, and I’d be inclined to agree. I would also be inclined to think that a regular t-shirt and jeans are appropriate wedding attire.

And that analogy is basically the difference between having and not having chair covers. Both “work,” but one just happens to give a more formal appearance. Besides, Maile wants them, so we’re going to have them.

The vendor also said they can dress the head table and cake table, but this decision will wait until we’ve heard from the florist. I may not even want table dressing, or only the head table. I don’t know. Maile and I have set a cap of $5000 for flowers (which is still expensive, but apparently the low expensive), and depending on what the florist quotes us, we’ll have to see what we can take away or substitute in order to retain the original vision.

Maybe we’ll just have low centerpieces on every table, instead of a mix of tall and short. Maybe we’ll have a few less flowers in the bouquet. Maybe the men won’t have boutonnieres, only handkerchiefs.

When I think about it, all this money is really paying for the convenience. No doubt I could find cheaper, if not free, substitutes by simply doing all the work myself. I could find, grow, or pick flowers and arrange them. I could buy linen in bulk from fabric stores and dress my own tables. I could fold my own cranes and arrange them into a nice pattern… wait, I’m still folding my own cranes. Anyway.

The point is, a lot of this money is for the fact that I don’t have to do it all myself. I won’t have to set up or volunteer someone to set up things, and I won’t have to worry about breaking things down and taking them home. I find myself asking each vendor what their set-up and breakdown policies are. Do they bring their own equipment and tools? What about transportation and storage? Every vendor has been self-sufficient. And why not, considering the thousands of dollars you’re giving them?

After speaking with the florist, it seems we might be in the market to spend approximately five to eight.. thousand dollars. Wai-wha-huh? The florist has great vision, I’ll grant her that. She can really fit the flowers with the overall theme of the wedding. But such talent comes at a price, I suppose. When she gives me the final estimate, I’ll have to see what we can compromise, take away, or otherwise finangle to get the cost down to $5K.

Today I meet with a vendor who specializes in chair covers. I’m not sure how high of a priority we’ll place on this, though.

We still need to find someone to be an emcee, and the cranes need researching and possible folding.

I attended a “wedding workshop” yesterday at The Wedding Cafe. The harpist we hired was going to be there, so I figured the least I could do was introduce myself and hope that she could put a face to the name on the cheque. Maile joined my adventurous endeavor to listen to what a makeup artist had to say. We ate food at 10% off and drank smoothies, also at 10% off.

Whilst sipping and nibbling we met a nice man who runs Dynamic Sounds, an emcee and wedding consulting company. Basically you hire him to either help coordinate your wedding’s theme, emcee your reception, or both. During our talkies I discovered that this guy has some pretty good ideas. I asked for his business card and I think we’ll be contacting him soon. It’s still undecided if we will use him for an emcee, but seeing as how we haven’t actually picked anybody else to do it, it’s nice to know we can try and reserve him.

Of course, with all things vendor-ish, it requires money. I think I overheard him saying that consultations run about $300.00! I don’t know if we want to spend that much. Otherwise it means people like James, Kimberly, and Richard may suddenly lose their invitations! Bwahahahaha!

Next week there is another wedding workshop, and the officiant I’ve emailed is supposed to be there. I will probably attend to introduce myself. My attendance will be determined by what time I get done at the dentist, though.

Today I meet with the florist, and then on Monday I meet with some vendor who does chair covers. Sometimes I think we should have eloped.

Maile and I were looking at a new car. A minivan, to be specific. 2007 Toyota Sienna LE, if you want more details.

We can afford it because we’ve saved enough to pay for it in cash, options and accessories inclusive. Maile needs a new car as her current automobile is on the razor’s edge; it works.. for now. Plus, the minivan provides functionality as far as cargo room, passenger capability (we’re looking at the 7-passenger variant), and some comfort. Maile likes the space and finds it easy to get in and out of the vehicle.

The model we’re looking at has dual power sliding doors, each with its own power window. Something I had never heard of in a van, though now that it’s there I wonder why it was never offered as standard. The driver’s console is useful and allows for easy access without compromising attention to the road. Passengers don’t have much in terms of distractions (no rear dvd player or nothing), but living in Hawaii does not imply long road trips.

The question thus remains, should we get the van now or wait? The specific van Maile wants won’t arrive until sometime later this month, so we just put a deposit to secure its purchase, and we have the option of declining with full refund. Getting it now wouldn’t hurt us financially, and Maile will be comfortable in the fact that as a new car, it won’t be prone to breakdowns immediately. Or, I should say, the chances are decreased dramatically.

Even with our upcoming wedding, the cost of the van would not impact the cost of the ceremony and reception, because we’ve already allocated funds for those. Whatever shortfall there is will be covered by our work income, which Maile is already receiving.

The one big thing that would factor against getting the van now would be Maile’s statement that her old car would be given to her brother, under the condition that he is able to afford it. That is, he has enough income to pay for its insurance, registration, safety checks, and whatever maintenance is required. That was the arrangement made by the family, and as of now I do not know whether Keoni is able to do it right away. It may take him some time, beyond the date the minivan is expected to arrive.

If we get the van anyway, what will we do with Maile’s old car? If Keoni can’t afford it, will the old car just sit in the carport?

I browsed through Kim and Philip’s registry and found myself staring at one item in particular. Chili bowls, extra large. “A Williams-Sonoma exclusive.”

These days it seems everything keeps getting more and more specific as far as its intended use. Time was, you only had one fork with which to skewer food (we don’t need to go further back and argue about the proper table etiquette of eating mutton with your hands). Now you have salad forks of differing size, or in the case of very lazy restaurants, two identical forks, with manners dictating that it is the outside fork to be used for salads.

So it was with plates and bowls. I would have one bowl for my rice, my gruel, and my water. If I were really practical, I’d also use it for my haircut. Now it seems we have bowls for chili, with maybe an alternate use for casserole or some kind of hot soup. I do not doubt the effectiveness of such bowl-ware in keeping hot foodstuffs hot. I merely wonder at the marketing genius it took to try and milk the common consumer of more money.

“Ah, I see you are interested in our exclusive and finely-crafted chili bowls, of the extra large variety. Those go great with stews, too. Only $25.95!”

“Oh, these are chili bowls? I just wanted something to eat my cereal in.”

“Then you want our exquisite line of breakfast bowls, imported from France. If you buy them today, you can cash in on a sweet deal of 6 for $39.95. That’s 4 dollars off from the regular price of $35.95!”

Seems like everything these days is separated and categorized further and further into tiny pigeonholes, and it all seems to warrant different price tags. Soon you’ll have customized and specific tines on your fork.

“Eat your salad. No, wrong tine. That’s for seafood, dear. Honey, talk to your kid. I spent $14.99 on salad tines, the least you could do is use them properly.”