Fear the Crab

I dreamt I was a football player, as well as a sports journalist. I was walking up Red Hill, Ewa-bound, but the time it took for me to get to the top was the same amount of time it would have taken me driving. I met up with a bunch of other journalists, and we all had these question guides. Our task was to fill in all the questions based on what the players and/or coaches said. This time it was Dave Shoji and the womens volleyball team that we were “interviewing.” The people around me were asking stupid questions, trying to fill in their papers, while I just kept writing. About the only question I had to ask was what date the game was. Then once I was finished, I was supposed to go to the stadium. All the journalists went to the top of the hill, and there we were in a room where we had to wait and they had to issue us these press passes. I walked down to the stadium as soon as I got my pass, and when I entered the field I saw that the football team was already warming up, and I was late. I hurried into the locker rooms to change, and strangely it seemed I wore my old aikido gi under my uniform and pads. It also seemed that I was the kicker, and I had just finished putting on my outfit when the game started. I hadn’t warmed up, a voice in the back of my head was saying that I was wearing the wrong shoes, and I was supposed to kick off. I rushed onto the field, tipping my baseball cap (why I was wearing that and not a helmet I don’t know) in apology to my teammates and referees. As expected, I didn’t kick the ball that far, but something happened and I ended up tackling the return man close to the goal line on his side of the field.

I first dreamt that I had my new truck, and everyone from the dental lab wanted to come down and check it out. The only problem was, they came very late at night, when we were asleep. I woke up to show them the truck and give them all a ride, because I didn’t want my dad to get upset at them, and instead of being a pickup it was one of those multi-passenger trucks, lifted, with leather seats. I remember trying to drive it and I was having a hard time because the steering wouldn’t respond and the suspension was just too loose. Suddenly I became embarrassed because these were Maile’s friends and co-workers, and here I was making a fool of myself for getting a truck and not being able to handle it. At the same time I was getting upset at her co-workers because they kept wanting me to drive like an off-road maniac, going down dirt paths and bumps and rises. I felt the truck go off-balance and tip over, rolling end over end until it crashed against a hill. I asked if everyone was okay, and nobody responded. Then I found myself in a prison of sorts, except I was a third-person amorphous entity that was just watching. Each cell was made of concrete stone slabs with a single window, and I was visiting each one in turn and looking at its occupants. I heard a voice saying that these criminals were those that could not function properly in society, and so were condemned here for the rest of their immortal lives. The word immortal stood out, and I realized that this was an elven community, and these criminals were spending eternity locked up in cold dark cells. The voice that was speaking was one of the jailers, who was checking each cell to make sure the criminals were behaving properly. In one cell, a bunch of criminals were talking to one guard, and when the jailer checked on that cell, he asked what the guard was doing inside. There was a brief conversation, and then guard left the cell. As the two walked away, the leader of that cell’s occupants reached forward, and plucked the door key that was still inside the lock, courtesy of the guard. Then the elven criminals turned into these jelly-like, blob-shaped aliens, armed with devastating weapons. They broke out of the cells (for there were more than a few) and unleashed havoc upon the elves. I watched and moved among them as they rounded up elves and tortured, maimed and killed them all. Then I began to control the actions of one person in particular, a woman with the powers of Superman, who was busy finding stragglers and hiders. Here it turned into a roleplaying session, as I would speak the moves she would make, the words she would say, where she would go, and the woman would act it out as though I were directing a show. There was one straggler left, and he put up some resistance, and here it seemed like he wasn’t “playing by the rules” because he kept ignoring the fact that the woman had Superman powers and he was just ordinary. Yet I couldn’t do anything about his uncooperation because the game just continued. I (controlling the woman) chased the straggler around the complex, and he led me to a strange room, a training room, where he had summoned the real Superman, and I thought o shit I’m dead. I had the woman retreat full speed out of there, and Superman flew after her, just as fast down the corridors. I remember the anxiety of the chase, and thinking that the alarm should be sounded so that Superman can play with all those aliens instead of beating me up. The alarm did sound, and while Superman was distracted, I had the woman go to an area I (we) had visited earlier, which was the “end of the level.” The woman grabbed two magazines and entered into the next area, but she had to hide the magazines somewhere for later retrieval. Inside the women’s restroom, I checked various places where she could hide it, and also remember where she hid it. There was a noise outside, and I thought crap Superman and his cronies have entered this area and are going to begin a search and they’re going to find us and I’m going to be in trouble. I tried to open a locker as quietly as possible, and when I got it opened I saw that it was just a door leading to nowhere, only a blank wall with metal-like pipes. And no place to hide magazines.

I was at my house, but it was different that what it is in real life. The house was bigger, and there were more people. I remember wandering through the house, visiting all the rooms, and I somehow ended up outside a large convention center. I walked in through the loading zone, and found myself smack dab in the middle of the Kidz Bop television concert. These kids were doing little routines, singing along to the top hits. I left before I would be trapped and/or ruin that concert, and I came across Maile walking Titan. For some unknown reason, Maile was very upset with me (even though Titan was very happy to see me), and I tried to find out what had happened, what I did that caused her to be mad at me. Then a lady came up and took me by the arm, leading me somewhere because it was my turn. I was back at the convention hall where this time a game show was going on. The lady told me that I was next, so I should be ready. The contestant in front of me had to pilot a simulation helicopter while drinking a cup of water. He didn’t win, but he got a consolation prize. Then it was my turn, and I didn’t know what my task was to be. As they were announcing it, the lady informed me that my prize would be going to Tim Dilessio, the evil VP of duty free, because I work for him. That got me very upset, and I became very rude to everybody involved with the game show. When my task was announced, I discovered that it was called Manhunt, and the show staff were going to try and hunt me down before I made it to a safe zone. I had never heard of this game, nor did I know how to “play” it, but IL found myself outside in my garage and all the cars were gone. It was nighttime, and the show was still playing inside the house. Another lady walked up to me and asked, “Any university?” to which I replied, “yes.” She yelled out “Any university!” back to the house, letting them know that I had chosen as my safe zone any university campus. I immediately took off running down the street, where it was surprisingly crowded with people. I found myself slowing down so as not to draw suspicion, and I remember being in a group of Y—– Giants baseball players. They were local, but they were complaining to me how Japanese always confused them with the Yomiuri Giants, as if they were an expansion team that played in Hawaii. I kept up a pleasant conversation with them, even though I could hear the helicopters in the background and I knew those copters were coming for me. I found myself in town, and it was daylight, and the streets were crowded, and all the time I could hear those helicopters. I knew that I was close to a university campus, because I had visited that campus some time ago and recognized the area. Before I could cross the street, I heard the helicopter coming in low, so I ducked behind a tree even though my body was screaming for me to cross the street running. I knew that if I started to cross, they would see me and it’d be over. As I hid behind the tree, I peeked out and saw that there were actually two helicopters, and they started to land to unload the “search team,” these people in jeans and brown t-shirts who were assigned to capture me. I started to take a roundabout path towards the university campus, but it seemed as though no matter where I went, those man hunters were always around, even though they couldn’t see me. I managed to summon up my courage, and wait for them to pass before “following them” and blending into the crowd. At least, that was my plan, but I don’t know how it turned out as the dream ended.

This woman was trying to teach me how to surf. We were at a river, which was calm and not too choppy, and I was told to go out there while she stayed on the riverbed. Strangely enough, there were waves on the river, so I was able to catch some. Then the wind shifted, and instead of waves moving towards shore, the waves went downstream. I was able to catch some waves going that way, and eventually ended up in another part of town where this girl asked me if I could surf in Norway. The woman who was teaching me said that of course I could surf in Norway, and I kept trying to imagine how a river in Norway would be and whether or not the waves would be as big as this. Then the three of us were at this gymnasium, me still with my surfboard, and we were trying to avoid the members of this karate dojo. It seemed this dojo had taken up the entire gym, and were similar to what you’d find in a bad karate movie (evil sensei, evil students, etc). My entire dream seemed to turn into a bad karate movie, complete with awful auto-dubbed English dialogue, as the three of us tried to sneak our way around the gymnasium without alerting the evil karate students and their masters. I even had fast-fowards where this one guy snooped through the evil sensei’s room to look for clues as to the dojo’s purpose (in life, I guess), and ended up getting killed by the master himself for his insolence.

Maile, George, Chanelle, and Jason were sleeping over at my house. Strangely enough, we were in my living room, on a piece of furniture that looked like a large-scale model of a station wagon. Maile and I were sleeping in the trunk of the station wagon, George was lying on the back seat, Chanelle was on the front bench seat, and Jason was lying in the footwells.

We all woke up and were trying to figure out what we were going to do. I was feeling very lazy, when all these strangers started showing up at my house. Normally I wouldn’t have allowed them in, but everyone else seemed okay with them and started to hang out. I was a tad upset by this (considering it was my house), and declined to join in the fun. Maile and I got into a brief argument over it, where I explained my feeling about the whole matter, but for some reason I kept getting the sensation that it was ME who was overreacting and being anti-social (even though it was my house and these were strangers coming in). I hopped into the shower, upon which a Smashing Pumpkins song kept playing in my head, and visions of long-haired grunge bands entertaining professional wrestlers jumbled in with a classical dose of Handel. Instead of sliding glass doors I had shower curtains, and these curtains kept blowing open in an unfelt breeze. The water pressure suddenly dropped to near-zero levels. Needless to say, I have no idea what SP song it was.

I dreamt of this food product that looked like a cross between cookie dough and butter. The odd thing about this product was that you could eat it by itself, or use it as the foundation for another dish. For example, add more butter to the mixture, and you get cookies. Throw in some vegetables, and you get stir fry. Methinks some of that recursive math has gotten to my head.

I remember reading a whole bunch of text, as though I were playing CheesyMUD. However, it was not CheesyMUD, but rather some flight combat simulation game like X-Wing, except it was all in text. Bog and Kyrol were there, in text form, and Kyrol had just tweaked the game code to allow people to join in a combat that was about to happen. Everything was very new to me, especially the commands, and it seemed I was the only one who didn’t know how to attack or maneuver in the game. I was, fortunately for me, unfortunately for them, teamed up with Bog and Kyrol, and I pestered them with questions. This went on for a good minute or two, before I woke up to the sound of a combination lock.

Don’t remember too much of what the dream was, but I know that Maile and I had taken Titan to this unfamiliar school. I couldn’t tell what kind of school it was (ie, elementary vs intermediate), but the fields were big and had plenty of room. I was leading Titan on a merry chase, letting him get his exercise, when I found myself in a different section of the campus. There was a picnic-party going on, with a whole crowd of people. Then this second great dane appeared and I knew it was a female, but she looked exactly like Titan. Titan and I were still running around (while Maile was off somewhere, probably laughing at us), and now the second dog joined in. So I had two great danes mock-chasing me around the field, and I kept thinking that I was going to trip and fall what with so many legs around me.

I don’t remember too much of my dream, except for a scene where a strange man cut me across the abdomen with a this rusty steel bar. He didn’t cut me open, but try running something like a ruler across your stomach and that’s what it felt like.

I don’t remember too much, except that Maile and I were working for a syndicate whose boss was John Travolta, and he assigned me to scoop four different cereals into a mixture of what looked ranch dressing. The four cereals were Rice Crispies, Cocoa Crispies, Raisin Bran, and I think Cocoa Pebbles. I needed to take one tablespoon of each and dump it into the mixture, until the bowl was filled. Surprisingly, the four bags of cereal turned into women, whose hair was the color of the cereal I was scooping up. What was even more strange was that I would continue scooping, and this time I would scoop into their hair and come out with cereal. It seemed like they were prisoners of Travolta, and they tried to talk to me and get me to release them, but I kept scooping cereal because I didn’t want to get Travolta mad at me, not to mention I had no idea where Maile had gone off to, and I was worried that if I did something bad, something worse would happen to her.