Fear the Crab

This morning I happened upon a full-page color newspaper ad for the new subdivision developing in Pokai Bay. The pictures on that web site show some beautiful single-family homes with spacious interiors, surrounded by lush green grass and clear skies. The newspaper ad featured “EXTRA LARGE back yards!” to appeal to those families with kids, or anyone who likes to run around. The subdivision is away from the noise and hustle-bustle of downtown, but only “minutes” away from the “blossoming second city” of Kapolei. Homes start in the low $400,000 range, which considering the market around here, is pretty good.

Here’s the catch: Pokai Bay is in Waianae. There is only one road from Waianae to anyplace else, and “minutes away from Kapolei” is true, if you consider a 20-minute commute as quick, not to mention that you have to pass through Nanakuli, another large area. And if the distance weren’t bad enough, any small accident on that single road will tie up traffic for hours, and heaven help you if it’s during rush hour.

Another “gotcha” is the specific location of this subdivision. I feel I can only do it justice with this image, direct from the web site itself:

The black-and-white area to the right of the map is the Pokai Bay subdivision. On the flank are other homes, and there’s an elementary school in the corner (I taught remedial reading for one year at that school!). On the left is Waianae Mall, a little strip mall housed in big blocky buildings.

What’s key is the little area, half out of frame, near the bottom. Those silos and storage tanks. What is that?

It’s the Waianae Wastewater Treatment plant. Let me tell you, after working in the vicinity for one school year, the smell literally becomes a part of your DNA. The only thing that can save you from a nose-full of the dregs of humanity is if there’s a good wind that day blowing out to sea.

Aw, but then if that happens, your quick jaunt to the beach is ruined. Even then, you’re not missing much. The water there has some of the filthiest muck I’ve ever regretted wading in. It’s not a pleasant experience to be frolicking amongst the empty potato chip bags and used condoms. No, seriously.

The ad has the title, “You must see it… to believe it!” and I think that’s about the only thing that’s really true. Of course, you have to physically be there to see it; pictures on a pretty page aren’t going to cut it. I seriously doubt this development will attract anyone from town, despite the price. Pity the poor fools on the continent who receive this ad or chance upon the television commercial; many go forth and buy without setting foot once on the property, just because of the “allure” of owning a home in Hawai`i.

Speaking of trapping insects, Maile and I purchased some plants of the Nepenthes family, aka pitcher plants. We figured since our house has a few ant nests around the perimeter, we can watch the balance of nature at work with some carnivorous creations.

Nepenthes Red Dragon

This is the Red Dragon, a hybrid of the thorelli and truncata families. It’s supposed to be a hardy plant well-adapted to the environment around my house. We’ll see how well those big pitchers handle the tiny ants.

Nepenthes bicalcarata

The second plant is the bicalcarata, an interesting little thing that almost looks like it has two fangs on the upper lid. Rather than making with the stabby-stabby, it’s thought that the two prongs generate the nectar that attracts insects, which crawl onto the fangs and fall into the pitcher.

What’s interesting is that those Wikipedia articles list the two plants as endangered or threatened. The garden store where we bought ours grows their own plants, so perhaps the label is only applicable for plants in the wild.