Fear the Crab

This morning I happened upon a full-page color newspaper ad for the new subdivision developing in Pokai Bay. The pictures on that web site show some beautiful single-family homes with spacious interiors, surrounded by lush green grass and clear skies. The newspaper ad featured “EXTRA LARGE back yards!” to appeal to those families with kids, or anyone who likes to run around. The subdivision is away from the noise and hustle-bustle of downtown, but only “minutes” away from the “blossoming second city” of Kapolei. Homes start in the low $400,000 range, which considering the market around here, is pretty good.

Here’s the catch: Pokai Bay is in Waianae. There is only one road from Waianae to anyplace else, and “minutes away from Kapolei” is true, if you consider a 20-minute commute as quick, not to mention that you have to pass through Nanakuli, another large area. And if the distance weren’t bad enough, any small accident on that single road will tie up traffic for hours, and heaven help you if it’s during rush hour.

Another “gotcha” is the specific location of this subdivision. I feel I can only do it justice with this image, direct from the web site itself:

The black-and-white area to the right of the map is the Pokai Bay subdivision. On the flank are other homes, and there’s an elementary school in the corner (I taught remedial reading for one year at that school!). On the left is Waianae Mall, a little strip mall housed in big blocky buildings.

What’s key is the little area, half out of frame, near the bottom. Those silos and storage tanks. What is that?

It’s the Waianae Wastewater Treatment plant. Let me tell you, after working in the vicinity for one school year, the smell literally becomes a part of your DNA. The only thing that can save you from a nose-full of the dregs of humanity is if there’s a good wind that day blowing out to sea.

Aw, but then if that happens, your quick jaunt to the beach is ruined. Even then, you’re not missing much. The water there has some of the filthiest muck I’ve ever regretted wading in. It’s not a pleasant experience to be frolicking amongst the empty potato chip bags and used condoms. No, seriously.

The ad has the title, “You must see it… to believe it!” and I think that’s about the only thing that’s really true. Of course, you have to physically be there to see it; pictures on a pretty page aren’t going to cut it. I seriously doubt this development will attract anyone from town, despite the price. Pity the poor fools on the continent who receive this ad or chance upon the television commercial; many go forth and buy without setting foot once on the property, just because of the “allure” of owning a home in Hawai`i.

Speaking of trapping insects, Maile and I purchased some plants of the Nepenthes family, aka pitcher plants. We figured since our house has a few ant nests around the perimeter, we can watch the balance of nature at work with some carnivorous creations.

Nepenthes Red Dragon

This is the Red Dragon, a hybrid of the thorelli and truncata families. It’s supposed to be a hardy plant well-adapted to the environment around my house. We’ll see how well those big pitchers handle the tiny ants.

Nepenthes bicalcarata

The second plant is the bicalcarata, an interesting little thing that almost looks like it has two fangs on the upper lid. Rather than making with the stabby-stabby, it’s thought that the two prongs generate the nectar that attracts insects, which crawl onto the fangs and fall into the pitcher.

What’s interesting is that those Wikipedia articles list the two plants as endangered or threatened. The garden store where we bought ours grows their own plants, so perhaps the label is only applicable for plants in the wild.

The desk was delivered and assembled today. Set up was quick because there were only two tables and a connector. The long table had plastic casters so that it wouldn’t scratch the floor, but the short table did not; I adhered some felt casters to compensate. While construction of the desk space was quick, moving all the components onto the desk and setting it all up took forever.

Before

This is what the area looked like before the desk arrived. As I said before, the file cabinet was already in place; the boxes are the various components awaiting a place to settle. The time was approximately 1500 when this picture was taken.

I first put Maile’s computer on the short table, arranged so that she could face the TV. Her color inkjet would sit between her monitor and the tower, which itself would perch on the edge of the long table. All of the cables and wires would tie up along the desk edge, interrupted by the surge protector.

The router came next. I needed to make sure I had the proper cables ready for two computers and a printer. But that was easy.

I unpacked my iMac and set it up on the long table. Despite having so few components, it took me a while to become familiar with where things were and how they should be arranged. I also had my RAID hard drives to unpack, and put that on the desk near the file cabinet.

Suddenly I realized that I didn’t really have any room for the laser printer. If I put it on the desk, it would force the computers closer together, which in turn would force the users closer together, until the chairs got in the way. I didn’t want to put anything on the floor because I wanted a clear space to easily vacuum, I wanted more leg room, and I didn’t want to run the risk of a chair knocking a dent into anything delicate.

So I put the laser printer on top of the file cabinet. It’s not pretty, there are a ton of cables all stretched hither and yon, but it’s all set up and ready for use.

After!

After after!

The fact remains that we still have enough room for the two of us to operate simultaneously, and we each have access to the printers and cordless phone. The physical setup was quick and painless (though there was a close call involving a desk and my toe); it was the electronic setup that was a long and drawn-out process.

Maile’s computer setup was easy, because there was really nothing to do. The only trick was reconfiguring her system to recognize and communicate with the router, but once that was done it just took an installation of the laser printer drivers and she could see it over the network.

The iMac was trickier. In addition to being a very new machine (as new as a refurbished model can be, that is), I am not very familiar with the Mac operating system. I had a few tidbits of start-up advice from friends and co-workers, but I still had to navigate the strange mirage of menus and icons. The RAID drives were set up as well as I thought I could, but it remains to be seen whether or not I set them up correctly.

From addressing iMac security concerns, to figuring out how to tell the printer I want duplex, I plodded through without nourishment, determined to conquer this hypnotic land. Test pages were printed, web pages were visited, and I may have blinded myself on the glossy widescreen brilliance that is 24 inches.

I don’t know if I’ve succeeded, but time will only tell.

Today our dining table was delivered and assembled. It’s a solid hardwood table with primavera inlay and cherry veneer, but I don’t know what the “primavera” stands for as far as furniture is concerned. The table was bought at a place called Room Stores Hawaii, which is an outlet store for the main company, CS Wo. However, the table was originally sold by the local branch of Ashley Furniture, which departed Hawaii under “mysterious circumstances.”

New dining table

I don’t know whether or not the table’s origins determined its price, but we seemed to have gotten a pretty good deal on it. For our requirements of a wood table for seating at least 8, with a pedestal base instead of legs on the outside, it seemed like $2,000.00 was the bare minimum. And this is just for the table. We already have a set of 6 chairs (we used to have 8, but my parents took two of them), but if we wanted a whole dining room set, the price would have skyrocketed. For our table, we paid less than $900.00.

I’m sure I could have found something cheaper online, but a dining table is best inspected in-person, so that was out. Craigslist was another option, but browsing there is like going to a flea market, hoping you’d find what you’re looking for.

Our table was actually the second one we looked at. The first was also solid hardwood but with a teak veneer. While the requirements were met, the color was a bit off and didn’t match the chairs we already have. We did fall in love with the table we wound up purchasing, because everything after that either did not look right, or was too expensive.

After delivery and assembly, Maile and I wiped down the table and set the chairs around it. Color coordination seemed perfect, and there was plenty of leg room. It felt like I was playing The Sims, dropping a table in the living room whilst we gather around in Simspeak. If only the rest of the house could be configured Sims-like.