Fear the Crab

I was standing in a lush valley, surrounded on three sides by high mountains and overlooking a large calm lake. The floor of the valley was claimed by two kingdoms, splitting the valley into equal halves. On the left were humans, on the right were elves. And suddenly it seemed this valley was populated by some LotR characters such as Legolas and Theoden, and even Liv Tyler’s character had a cameo. It seemed someone opened a Pandora’s Box and let all this nasty stuff loose, which proceeded to coagulate into a single entity that ran amok eating all the vegetation in the valley and covering the hills in yellow dirt. For some reason, it felt like I was the one who opened the box and that I actually wanted this to happen. I’m watching the progress of this vegetarian evil when it suddenly occured to me that if I were simply standing around doing nothing, I’d be suspected of causing this. So I ran around alerting people that something bad was happening, and I had started in the human area and ended up in the elven area. At this point I became an observer, like I was supposed to be there, and all the elves were talking amongst each other and to me. Legolas had just returned from a scouting mission and seemed quite gloomy, thus Elrond appeared to act as a psychiatrist and counsel the lad. As Legolas began to open up to Elrond, I was at a sink rinsing out some kind of.. metal cup thing. I didn’t stay too long to listen to what Legolas was saying, because I found myself standing on a large patio-type area, covered by a ceiling but no windows, facing the lake. Then a man in armor appeared, armed with a bow and equipped with a full quiver, and he proceeded to stand on this dias-looking thing and aimed an arrow at this falcon that was carrying some type of small prey (weasel, perhaps). At first I thought he was going to shoot the dead weasel in the falcon’s talons, but instead he fired at the falcon itself, bringing it down with a splash into the lake. None of the other elves saw this except for Legolas, whom I can only assume finished his therapy session with Elrond and was standing next to me. I rushed up and tackled the armored man, and discovered that he was some bloke name Lord Hoggoth, or something to that effect. The commotion finally brought the attention of everyone present, and after a quick explanation all decided it was the right thing to do. However, no one could decide on a punishment, so they all went into this dining hall to discuss things over breakfast. I decided to take matters into my own hands, so I called Legolas over, and told him to take this Lord Hoggoth over the lake while I held the bow and quiver. Legolas immediately understood and transformed himself into a giant dragon-bird, snatched up Lord Hoggoth and flew over the lake. I then spend the last few minutes of the dream firing the bow at Lord Hoggoth and trying not to hit him. It was a bit difficult, because the arrows would never fly straight and would curve and dive around like paper airplanes. I did manage to scare the guy, though, with a few near misses. The other elves turned a blind eye to this, even though it was obvious they were aware of it. I was having a lot of fun trying to shoot arrows as close as possible to Lord Hoggoth without actually hitting him, and of course avoiding the bird-Legolas, until I realized that I had not set my alarm and had overslept and was late for work.