Fear the Crab

The sleep study wasn’t very restful. I know a part of it has to do with sleeping in a strange place with all kinds of equipment hanging on my face, but I believe it had less to do with that than with the constant interruptions by the technicians. And the sleeping pill didn’t seem to do shit.

I didn’t have a clock to judge how many hours would pass, but I know on three occasions the techs came into the room to adjust the sensors. I was awake enough to realize what was going on, but I wasn’t quite at that level of coherency to try and ask why they were doing this. The techs would peel off the adhesive that held the sensors to my cheeks and neck, and either replace or reattach them again. Hopefully they unclogged my pores with all that facial treatment.

I also had some kind of device that stuck up my nose and over my upper lip. Based purely on feel, it was like small pin-like things that I figure measure the amount of oxygen passing through. That sensor felt very weird on my face, like a strange metal spider digging for boogers.

The first time they came in, I thought it was to fit me with the CPAP machine, but it turns out that in order to “qualify” for that part of the study, I needed to have stopped breathing within the first 2 or 3 hours of sleep. So, despite actually having stopped breathing later on, because I didn’t do it early enough, I didn’t get to use the device.

What does this mean? The techs said I need to speak with my doctor when the results come back. They attest that I did exhibit signs of sleep apnea, so it’s pretty clear that I’ll need some kind of treatment. What treatment that is, is pending discussion.

I think the last 30 minutes, or hour, I was actually semi-awake. Enough to know that I was still at the sleep lab, but unable to properly open my eyes or want to move anywhere, except to get comfortable. When the tech came in to wake me up, I thought it was yet another sensor adjustment. All in all, I think I got 6 or 7 hours of interrupted slumber, with nothing yet to show for it except what I already knew.

EDIT:
I said earlier that the sleeping pill didn’t seem to do anything. I really meant to say that it didn’t seem to keep me asleep. I remember as the techs were putting on the sensors for the first time, looking over at the TV and thinking that Lisa Ling had grown two heads, while the screen text for Larry King Live needed some control for the vertical.

In fact, I think when the techs finished attaching everything to my face and told me to lie down, that I immediately passed out. So the sleeping pill did work as advertised, but I thought it should have done a better job maintaining things once it started.