Fear the Crab

I’ve heard that there are people in the world who look just like you.  Sometimes these people are not of the same race, perhaps not even of the same gender, but on casual observation it would be like looking at a mirror.

I was recently (read: yesterday) made aware of a bloke named Thomas Beatie.  Apparently this dude has been in the spotlight for the much-publicized circumstances of being a pregnant man, although there has been much discussion about the valid definitions of gender differences (I won’t get into those, and really they have no place here).  Regardless, the guy was pregnant, gave birth to a healthy girl, and according to reports, is pregnant again.

As the news spread about, word has started to circulate around me that this Beatie fellow bears a startling resemblance to yours truly.  I finally managed to score a glance at some images, which included the pregnancy, and I have to admit that, damn, I really DO look like this guy!  We seem to share a similar hairstyle, a similar chin-strap goatee and beard (complete with sparse growth; sometimes I wish I had a hairier face).  There are certain angles of view, certain expressions, that seriously appear to be a duplication of my spitting image.

The similarities apparently don’t end with just the appearance.  Reports indicate that Beatie grew up here, and we’re almost the same age.  I’m not that interested in digging much further to find out if we were elementary school classmates, though.  That’d be weird.

And of course, once people have noticed the similarity, comments have followed in regards to my own belly.  I am not naive to think I don’t have a rather expansive gut.  I am fully aware of the effects copious amounts of alcohol and sedentation have on the abdominal physique.  I just believe the inevitable progression of “so, when is it your turn?” will soon flood my in-box.

Hey, I have no problem with someone being pregnant, male or female.  I personally wouldn’t want to go through it, but I don’t have issues with someone who chooses to become so.

My thing is that I’ve been making snarky comments about my beer belly for way longer than this guy.  I’ve been saying things like, “I’m in the second trimester,” with no real knowledge of what a second trimester would look like, but with the full expectation (har) that I have a significantly-sized gut and that I can and will be made fun of.  If anything, this Beatie-chap needs to throw some credit my way as being the inspiration for his new good looks.  Anything, I guess, maybe even an obligatory, “I saw this guy in town, and I said to myself, ‘I want to look just like him!'”  That’d work.

Or maybe I’m just a trend-setter.

The extra-cool thing I can take from this series of coincidences is that, after seeing Beatie’s “before” photos, I’d be frickin’ hot if I were a woman.